tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88248477490268024332024-02-18T21:53:38.746-05:00Lady Bug's CawfeeTawks"Lady Bug"... My mom's nick name for me _______________________________
"Cawffee Tawks"... A New Yorker's musingsLady Bughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13063188703414896294noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8824847749026802433.post-59805753101241267632014-03-20T14:36:00.001-04:002014-03-20T14:36:14.585-04:00Changes Are Coming - & My Kitchen Smells So Yummy!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;">A few weeks ago, as I thought all was well with my small little world, my system was about to be shocked to it's core. I called my boss for our weekly update and he told me that my position was eliminated - translation: I was laid off! My head spun. My heart went into shock and the more he talked, the faster it beat! When he asked if I had any questions, I said 'no' in as calm a voice as I could muster. I hung up & told my colleagues & staff, then D. To everyone, except Hubby, I appeared very cool. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Impacted, but not overwhelmed by the enormity of it all. "Oh well, I knew this was coming" (which I did), I'd say. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Well, I really wasn't happy making widgets anyway, that was supposed to be temporary", I'd honestly reflect. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"At least I have severance", I'd say trying to focus on being thankful.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"I needed a break anyway", I muse with a smile on my face & in my voice (funny how that works).</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But to Hubby... poor Hubby, I was a zombie. Not talking. Just walking around in a fog! Tossing and turning all night. Dreaming about everything bad that could possibly go wrong. Every morning for the past few weeks when he woke me to say good bye, I'd jump - and yelp! Every thing was scaring me - absolutely everything!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But as afraid as I was, I started down the path of updating my resume, networking and applying for new positions. MANY new positions within my old company - after all, I didn't want to be unemployed... I wanted to stay with the same company, work from my home in my jeans and slippers, and continue to receive my paycheck - a paycheck that I'd not been without for more than 20 years! But apparently life had other options for me! I did not find another job with my company before my final day. I was officially unemployed!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">While I went through the motions of updating my resume and trying to think of an introductory statement that outlined what I could contribute to the perspective company, I just stared at the blank screen! I wasn't even sure myself! So, I thought - 'perhaps this is a time for me to think about what I really want to do'. After all, for the last 25 years, I'd been doing what was best for everyone else... don't get me wrong, I liked my job & was VERY fortunate & blessed to have it. BUT... when I was a little girl, I didn't dream about being a director in a Fortune 25 company. I dreamed about being a wife and a mother...</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I was going to get married & have children and stay home and raise them. I was going to go to school plays, be the class mom and have my kids' friends visit often. I was going to cook everyday for everyone. And we were all going to live happily ever after! :-) Not the typical dream of a "smart" girl growing up in the 60's. But those were my dreams. And for some years - but no where near enough, I was fulfilling those dreams. Life happened and that dream ended. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Now, it has occurred to me that while I do not want any more children, unless "grand" precedes "children", I would like the opportunity to play "wifey", if only for a while... You know, that woman who eats chocolates all day, cleans the house, cooks the meals, shops, doesn't worry about bills & supports her husband's chosen career with a happy smile & sugary sweet attitude. Don't ask me where I ever got this dreamy image...LOL... I don't recall knowing anyone like this from my childhood-and I guess that is why they are called dreams! </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Anyway, a few days ago I dreamt of a song our choir sings with words coaxing us to lean on Jesus. When I woke that morning, the terror that was encompassing me for the past 2 weeks had left. I wasn't happy... but I wasn't scared. I was no longer terrified. (Not sure why, I still have bills to pay & a household that needs 2 incomes!)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">All that said, since that day, I have thought about what I want to do now. "Wifey" will do for about a week or so, but any longer than that & I"ll probably be nuts. When I think about what I like to do, what I LOVE to do, it is to COOK & entertain! </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Nothing makes me happier than having our home filled with friends and family, sitting around our big dining room table sharing a meal. I'm happiest when I'm cooking & ensuring everything is 'just right' - whether it's a pork loin; garlic chicken; crown roast; candied sweet potatoes; apples - galore cake; rice & beans; macaroni and cheese; banana, cranberry or chocolate muffins... I want it all to be perfect! And I work hard at getting it as close to perfection as I can. And all the work that goes into reaching for perfection is well worth the outcome.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So, why not take my love and turn it into a career? Into a business? I am thinking about it... hard. Everyone who has tasted one, raves about my muffins. </span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRVwg3lmUBKCszlNihzJpVPoFbvWnTA1VsPfNOBy7ZV4F2vwGt35ssquKUIJQyy2oRR2TgSUF57Aj1_z1XI4Mc8S3Kj-iWprLW8_WQVn4doHhenCGzSCdcexhN1uY0QyxB8sO9CH8zk3Zm/s1600/Banana+Chocolate+Chip+Jumbo+Muffin+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; font-size: x-large; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRVwg3lmUBKCszlNihzJpVPoFbvWnTA1VsPfNOBy7ZV4F2vwGt35ssquKUIJQyy2oRR2TgSUF57Aj1_z1XI4Mc8S3Kj-iWprLW8_WQVn4doHhenCGzSCdcexhN1uY0QyxB8sO9CH8zk3Zm/s1600/Banana+Chocolate+Chip+Jumbo+Muffin+2.jpg" height="400" width="298" /></a><br />
<h2>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSpcT-xz5KdxS8Nu1QwizAAQgSoe6MRW461kD5ghoBxeSG3Rg8IyVDFtOtzeWkBmcHdOLT2dCreEr3qM_KwH4B5wESYK50qw5RFUic4dLuW40W2n48kxF6TBYeK-mIMd97azfcnLBnEE6I/s1600/Banana+Chocolate+Chip+Jumbo+Muffin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="font-size: x-large; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSpcT-xz5KdxS8Nu1QwizAAQgSoe6MRW461kD5ghoBxeSG3Rg8IyVDFtOtzeWkBmcHdOLT2dCreEr3qM_KwH4B5wESYK50qw5RFUic4dLuW40W2n48kxF6TBYeK-mIMd97azfcnLBnEE6I/s1600/Banana+Chocolate+Chip+Jumbo+Muffin.jpg" height="400" width="298" /></a><span style="font-size: large; text-align: center;"> </span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilw0q_SqRS_rG-Q0x4GJb6s3YJtzjMYM6FCP88mPPi8ZUiA2-2xfDDti8pFlfHio2oBmt9OFABZMMcrNxAqmbcNHFgs3PFs5aBS8PdsVMvrpWOkVwNUL-llCq50milZXG1q4G5P41aDKgx/s1600/Blueberry+Mini+Muffs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilw0q_SqRS_rG-Q0x4GJb6s3YJtzjMYM6FCP88mPPi8ZUiA2-2xfDDti8pFlfHio2oBmt9OFABZMMcrNxAqmbcNHFgs3PFs5aBS8PdsVMvrpWOkVwNUL-llCq50milZXG1q4G5P41aDKgx/s1600/Blueberry+Mini+Muffs.jpg" height="640" width="462" /></a></h2>
<span style="font-size: large;">The silky texture, the multitude of fruit, the chunks of real banana and the exploding blueberries. All that said, I know that selling muffins to help pay for tuition is different than selling muffins to pay for household bills. I need plans - a business plan, a marketing plan, a communication plan.... LOTS of plans!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So... I am going to begin <i>planning</i>. I WANT this path, but I'm not sure if it is the right path so I'm treading lightly. I'm going to take the same path I took when I decided so many years ago to start to date... I'm just going to take one tiny step forward and let Him do the rest.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Wish me luck! </span></div>
Practicing Humanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16826747405265113384noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8824847749026802433.post-85537120916455123912014-02-26T22:56:00.002-05:002014-02-27T09:16:18.921-05:00The Day I Felt Like a Princess<div class="header" style="background-color: white; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 2px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span style="font-family: Arial Unicode MS, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #444444; font-size: large;">For one day in my memory - and it was only a while ago, I felt like a princess. After months of worrying about small things like favors and shoes, menus and venues, divorces and annulments, the day came. It started off with rain. I cried - not on the outside, but on the inside I cried in a pure panic. I wanted everything to be perfect that day and the weather was going to ruin it! "I just can't catch a break", I thought as my BFF drove me to the salon to get my wedding day look. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial Unicode MS, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #444444;">But then as usual I thought, 'somehow I must deserve this! What an idiot I'd been.' I was quiet... wondering if this was a sign from God of the things to come... wondering if I should have planned all this hoopla after all. I was 52 years old for heaven's sake. Why did I think I deserved to have a day like a 20-something girl. And so I resigned myself to rain on my wedding day - after all it was too late to cancel! </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial Unicode MS, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #444444;">We arrived at the <a href="http://hair2envysalon.com/">salon</a> and I took a deep breath, got out of the car and became determined to 'suck it up' to not spoil everyone else's good time - after all weddings were supposed to be fun! It didn't matter much that I thought I would not have fun... because that is what I'd been doing for so long - sucking it up so the "<i>guests</i>" in my life were inconvenienced as little as possible.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial Unicode MS, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #444444; font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTSkTKJ7IFjCQtpf0VHpcYimh-8iD_RAGa_BauT9IPzP6WqaBUKDaZeJ-CAsqC10v99D-ZG6woGOGa37rr9tyqkREHUZQWfqV1cMiMvqxjU0qCffXOhd5VGqUw_R17XkbWSGzkEKA3txMl/s1600/Getting+Hair+Done.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTSkTKJ7IFjCQtpf0VHpcYimh-8iD_RAGa_BauT9IPzP6WqaBUKDaZeJ-CAsqC10v99D-ZG6woGOGa37rr9tyqkREHUZQWfqV1cMiMvqxjU0qCffXOhd5VGqUw_R17XkbWSGzkEKA3txMl/s320/Getting+Hair+Done.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Arial Unicode MS', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And so it continued... preparation. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial Unicode MS, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial Unicode MS, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #444444;">Hair then make up. Not the normal "just do whatever, but make it quick" hairstyle. <a href="http://hair2envysalon.com/">Erryn</a> took my flat hair & extensions and turned them into an elegant up-do with enough curls to make me happy. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial Unicode MS, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #444444;">And the eyebrows that used to be bushy and out of control when I was young (think Eddie Munster), but now with age & intense tweezing had turned into a thin mess that I'd grown to tolerate - well she was able to make them look not only presentable, but pretty. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial Unicode MS, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #444444;">By the time she was done, I'd relaxed (a little). I looked at my reflection in the mirror. The pretty pins she put in my hair to accentuate the curls. The up-do. The eyebrows that were miraculously just right. Erryn said, "so how do you feel?" And I cried and said "I'm getting married again - I really am". The girls in the salon laughed - a good hearted, well meaning laugh. They had heard about this journey I'd been on. Then I looked outside and while the rain had stopped, the clouds hovered. I breathed a sign of relief... because if I couldn't have a sunny day, I'd settle for a cloudy one without rain. Perhaps I'd have a little fun that day.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial Unicode MS, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #444444;">Into the car we went & drove north... stopping to get this, that and the other - you know, all those little things that seem so important a few hours before you are walk down the aisle. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial Unicode MS, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial Unicode MS, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #444444;">I don't recall what we talked about on the drive. But I do remember the "I can't believe I'm getting married! ME?" feeling. Reaching the church, before taking the dress out of the car I checked the bag once more to ensure everything was secure. After all, even though I knew it would get dirty once we came outside after the wedding, I didn't want it to be dirty when I walked down the aisle - yes, even if no one would notice the dirt. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial Unicode MS, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #444444;">Up the steps and into the church we went. </span></span></span><span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Arial Unicode MS', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Mary went about putting bows on the aisle seats and ensuring no one sat in the first row, traditionally reserved for the parents of the bride & parents of of the groom. Sadly, none of our parents would be in attendance. I could only hope that mine were looking at me from heaven, and, that they were smiling. But, even though neither sets of parents would be in attendance, we had the best surrogates - </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0m7oQKSae3GevSxszV1o3ZSFwo-FHRk0tpvnbCrP0gg6Rix7xqgIwp2xIv8GZH_rekV7xmlW3eTA1VZLKjBjGqa9kHFG_Uvce9pmqvh5UU-3lst31pT8Ph5z28vhKxQv5s_nkWkbFK-bM/s1600/DSC_4670.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0pUPgytMR0uQpHW_nlTthknoUJ1yqW_uch1I0Cb9CISssbCUfMZl5lI_bntY-Eoy0K-_Sk9hN1lIXOevwfJxhcEWKFx92Yun6Amppg9EHy6bJ711HNRK0o64_86hJLJP3Nv5wzMGVCROM/s1600/DSC_4669.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; display: inline !important; float: right; font-family: 'Arial Unicode MS', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"></a><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0m7oQKSae3GevSxszV1o3ZSFwo-FHRk0tpvnbCrP0gg6Rix7xqgIwp2xIv8GZH_rekV7xmlW3eTA1VZLKjBjGqa9kHFG_Uvce9pmqvh5UU-3lst31pT8Ph5z28vhKxQv5s_nkWkbFK-bM/s200/DSC_4670.jpg" height="200" width="161" /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGqjFIqrRf9OTBTlpZc8Dv4T2HcLBnPEp4oCcl93igisYSNCxJw8YLY7vy9xIhCrzoFNq2hCvVGTlAmvgzObkEtrdIP3sBbX6YIA-OZxuh0YznoyVKCShy1SXFosG5DX5G3KU2q-0DeO-a/s1600/Stacey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="display: inline !important; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGqjFIqrRf9OTBTlpZc8Dv4T2HcLBnPEp4oCcl93igisYSNCxJw8YLY7vy9xIhCrzoFNq2hCvVGTlAmvgzObkEtrdIP3sBbX6YIA-OZxuh0YznoyVKCShy1SXFosG5DX5G3KU2q-0DeO-a/s200/Stacey.jpg" height="200" width="136" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0pUPgytMR0uQpHW_nlTthknoUJ1yqW_uch1I0Cb9CISssbCUfMZl5lI_bntY-Eoy0K-_Sk9hN1lIXOevwfJxhcEWKFx92Yun6Amppg9EHy6bJ711HNRK0o64_86hJLJP3Nv5wzMGVCROM/s200/DSC_4669.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0pUPgytMR0uQpHW_nlTthknoUJ1yqW_uch1I0Cb9CISssbCUfMZl5lI_bntY-Eoy0K-_Sk9hN1lIXOevwfJxhcEWKFx92Yun6Amppg9EHy6bJ711HNRK0o64_86hJLJP3Nv5wzMGVCROM/s200/DSC_4669.jpg" height="200" width="143" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Arial Unicode MS', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My brother...</span><span style="color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and his wonderful wife. </span><span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Arial Unicode MS', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And Doris - a woman who opened her heart to Don and showered him with the love and attention he deserves.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Arial Unicode MS', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Onto the main event...o</span><span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Arial Unicode MS', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ut of '</span><span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Arial Unicode MS', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">regular</span><span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Arial Unicode MS', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">' clothes and into my "</span><b style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Arial Unicode MS', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Mary, Holy Crap, I'm getting married!</i></b><span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Arial Unicode MS', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">" clothes - my wedding gown. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i>It wasn't the traditional white gown. A traditional white gown was for the girl that I once was, the young woman I once was. The girl who knew what self-confidence was--- it was the thing that the other kids had. The girl & young woman who knew what pretty was - it was the thing the other girls and young women were. God hadn't blessed me with looks. The girl who had heard "you'll never get married again... no one will ever want you" from someone who was having a 'mean' moment & probably didn't mean it - but I remembered and believed those words from that day until this day.</i></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i> </i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>I chose a non-traditional gown. T</i></span></span><i style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">he gown that said "I" am getting married. Me. My mom's "Ladybug". The woman I'd grown into. The mother of 3 sons who are my sun. The professional woman who has been winning against the odds for a very long time. Self-confidence doesn't elude me anymore. The woman who used to hate her smile but now is happy to have it as my sign of welcoming and love to all with whom I share it. The woman who lost 70 pounds on my own!</i><span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i> The woman who is only concerned about one person thinking I'm pretty --- and he thinks I'm pretty & SEXY to boot! (Pretty dies, Sexy lives forever!) I chose the gown that says, 'here I am and I'm happy to be me'.</i></span></span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7Shi0rc3n-Y6XGDIiMXZXLYAU12VH-LzRW7bp5sHYSM-YDAQ51N_FKfc34kzweeEmhFI5_Maj_3mh1az774GXVbvsGw9dNJPINT9DsOr09kvX79WHDow7OY6qYP55ZCGYg8xeRVxiG507/s1600/DSC_4647.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"></a><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7Shi0rc3n-Y6XGDIiMXZXLYAU12VH-LzRW7bp5sHYSM-YDAQ51N_FKfc34kzweeEmhFI5_Maj_3mh1az774GXVbvsGw9dNJPINT9DsOr09kvX79WHDow7OY6qYP55ZCGYg8xeRVxiG507/s200/DSC_4647.jpg" height="320" width="211" /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGE7SEyYHy8znHPUCbVNDgpBAlO0YGrxy2fPywId23sBgq2shZOjVmfdjAhMq4Axa3BAKSKhd1-Oeoh6kCUpxNXwsqZ81tAvFZ9zwW5s99mudjZQ9VyU9GnRJG6Lzwu0ApqiYGrKz0sOXN/s1600/DSC_4816.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGE7SEyYHy8znHPUCbVNDgpBAlO0YGrxy2fPywId23sBgq2shZOjVmfdjAhMq4Axa3BAKSKhd1-Oeoh6kCUpxNXwsqZ81tAvFZ9zwW5s99mudjZQ9VyU9GnRJG6Lzwu0ApqiYGrKz0sOXN/s1600/DSC_4816.jpg" height="320" style="cursor: move;" width="211" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Arial Unicode MS', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">After climbing into the dress and all it's paraphernalia, I slipped on my "something old" shoes. Black sling backs that didn't scream 'wedding', they screamed - 'no one will see them anyway & it's more important to not be taller than him in the pictures than it is to have on 'wedding shoes'. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Arial Unicode MS', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Then came my "something blue" anklet that was given to me by a dear friend... a woman who when she sings, sounds just like my mother! Her voice often brings me to tears.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Arial Unicode MS', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Finally came my 'something borrowed'. And onto this head that never wore a veil before, was placed a veil. This one is so special because it was made by the 'little girl' who has become a dear, dear friend. My sister placed it on my head--- finding just the right spot to have it lay and flow just so. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: Arial Unicode MS, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Dressed in my gown, I looked in the mirror and a princess was staring back at me. A princess had never stared back at me, had never smiled at me. But there she was in the mirror: staring, smiling, saying "yes, you really do look pretty... he's going to love this dress!" </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: Arial Unicode MS, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Then Kitty came in to check on me & said "Girl, that dress was pretty in the closet, but the hanger didn't do it any justice! It's beautiful. You look gorgeous! " We all shared a good laugh that broke the tension... and kept my tears from flowing. And then my sister said, "Yeah Sis, you look really pretty". Since I left home before we learned to like one another, I had never heard these words come from her mouth! It was the sign I needed to know that all would be okay - gray skies & all! Even if it started raining again, it was going to be a good day! I was going to have fun. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: Arial Unicode MS, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">As we waited for all the guests to arrive (there was an accident on the freeway that most guests were using to get to the church), time seemed to slow down. We came out of the hot dressing room & made our way into the hallway... watching guest hurry through the doors and to their seats. I looked outside and the sun was shining brightly... another good sign! I relaxed.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: Arial Unicode MS, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Finally, the musician began to sing the prelude, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7oxc-UtUFE">"You & I"</a>. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNsgHMklBW0"> "Pachabel"</a> sounded the entrance of the matron of honor. Bouquets in hand; my brother & my arms locked; Mary and I smiling our secret "OMG I'm getting married" smile at each other, and finally we were ready. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Arial Unicode MS', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Mary starts towards the door in her beautiful crimson dress. A smile on her face. I feel so excited, yet so peaceful! And then, before she gets to the door to enter the church, time speeds up! </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: Arial Unicode MS, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My brother decides he has to pee and tries to pull his arm from mine. "NO! NO! NOOOOOO! WAIT!" I say. "Aw, it'll just take a second" he says while he unlocks my death grip on his arm. Time is whizzing by now. Pachabell sounds like it is a 45 being played on 78 speed! All my planning! All my worrying! Even the sun had come out & dried the ground - yet my brother - my brother who I adored - was going to make me late walking down the aisle. Well I wasn't going to have that & just as I was about to scream "Hurry up dammit!" he appears. Smiling! You'd have to know my brother. "See," he says, "what were you worried about?" and I looked into his eyes that always seemed to be smiling and I laughed. The '<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tDYMayp6Dk">Wedding March</a>' stated and we walked.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: Arial Unicode MS, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Our guests stood. I saw more cell phones than faces. My whole body smiled as we walked down what seemed a long aisle. Time had slowed once again. I felt special, like the princess I never was.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: Arial Unicode MS, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Upon hearing the minister ask who gives this woman in marriage, my brother, the one who I was going to yell at 3 minutes earlier; the one who told me that our mother died; the one that cheered when I graduated early from high school; the one who said "It'll be okay" when I cried; the one who told me "of course you can do .... you can do anything you want"; the one who didn't want me to move to Ohio, but supported me anyway because it was what I wanted; the one who took me motorcycle riding at 12, then taught me to ride one - at 12! Yes that one. That big brother of mine said "I do", kissed me tenderly on the cheek & took his very rightful seat as Father of the Bride.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Arial Unicode MS, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In just a few minutes, after a reading and a prayer, the minister pronounced us as Mr. and Mrs. We kissed & then my husband yelled "Yahoo" for all to hear & pushed his fist into the air. I laughed. Everyone laughed.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Arial Unicode MS, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I finally understood after all this time, all these years with him that not only was I a princess - his princess - I was his <b>prize</b>!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Arial Unicode MS, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqXQXGRtvnfzIegIz1Xp6_uqbrYugHyGLoFVRIIspUzsM59Z1OjnNgWo9QKDUpelV-tTcUSD0jobyA4VdXchCtLVlT05F-ESpDcAGPkEdjKjj6Pt4B-fV4wFlAfts-LTI7hIsCZ2tPclIK/s1600/DSC_4867.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqXQXGRtvnfzIegIz1Xp6_uqbrYugHyGLoFVRIIspUzsM59Z1OjnNgWo9QKDUpelV-tTcUSD0jobyA4VdXchCtLVlT05F-ESpDcAGPkEdjKjj6Pt4B-fV4wFlAfts-LTI7hIsCZ2tPclIK/s1600/DSC_4867.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Arial Unicode MS, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Our wedding day was beautiful! Sun shining. Lots of smiling faces & good wishes from so many friends and family. Good food and music at the reception. Just enough excitement to make for fun memories. And I felt like a princess! In fact a little bit of that feeling remains today... </span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Arial Unicode MS, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Me - A Princess. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">His Princess </span></i><span style="font-family: Arial Unicode MS, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">As I get older, I find the answers to my prayers in the oddest ways. Once I had someone in my life and started planning our wedding and married life and thinking about the challenges that couples like us might face, I said lots of prayers... After all, we are "oil & vinegar" - most times we mix quite nicely; but sometimes we can't mix, so we stay in our separate bottles! :-)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I prayed he come to mass with me - even though he isn't (and probably never will be) Catholic. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> <i>Today he gets me out of bed to ensure we are on time; during the week he talks about what "Father" said at mass; and is he is chairing the Fish Fry! (Granted, he probably has no clue how much work this will be! LOL)</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">As I have seen from friends who re-married, it is often difficult to blend families... Lifetime movies about the happy family where everyone gets along & step children are just happy to see their parents happy - well movies are just that - movies. So I prayed for someone who would love my children, and who my children would love - knowing that their vastly different backgrounds and life experiences will sometimes puts my boys & my husband at opposite ends of an issue, so I prayed for love, knowing that "like"is part of love & "like" has it's ups and downs.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> <i> Lately he's been asking "Well what restaurants do A&S like?" so he can get a gift card for them when we are grocery shopping. He doesn't know them well enough to know what they like, but he knows that A likes to eat! And there really is no special occasion coming up. He is trying his best to say "trying to get to know you" in the only way he knows how.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> <i>Or he will say "Have you talked to D? Is he okay? Does he need anything?" He knows I worry about my baby who is so far away... even though he is with his dad & family there, I still worry, and he knows if he gets me to talk about my fears that he will be able to calm my fears.</i></span><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: large;"> Out of the blue, he will say "Do you want to go see 'the kids' after mass?" When would I not want to go see "the kids" - only never! And when we arrive, he rubs his hands with hand sanitizer and picks up Baby Girl J - the key to his heart - and marvels at how big she's gotten, how much she looks like her mom & how happy she is! And then he takes a look at Baby Boy J - sleeping as normal & remarks "we know where he got that from" referring to how my boys and I all like to sleep!</span></i><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">You know, my faith isn't nearly as big as a mustard seed... but it's growing. And each time I see these answered prayers,my faith grows just a bit more!</span></b>Lady Bughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13063188703414896294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8824847749026802433.post-57781659914699571632013-09-15T21:18:00.000-04:002013-09-16T07:50:59.460-04:00Tick Tock!<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><i>It is 6 days away. </i></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><i>My to-do list has become big enough to fit on a post it. :-). And I can breathe!</i></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><i>The jeans in my closet that would only go as far as the top of my knees when I tried to get into them 18 months ago, now not only fit, but they are roomy! And I can breathe!</i></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><i>My sons purchased their tickets to be here before Friday so I will be able to spend a little time with them! And I can breathe!</i></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><i>A wonderful woman from church is standing in for D's mom, who can't attend, so he will have someone special to dance with! And I can breathe!</i></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><i>My sister in law assures me my wonderful, two left foot brother, has learned the basic dance steps & won't step on my feet or dress! And I can breathe!</i></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Directions have been re-sent to my <a href="http://hrsj.org/" target="_blank">HRSJ</a> family (some are direction-challenged - LOL). And I can breathe!</i></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><i>I found my divorce decree so we can apply for a marriage license! And I can breathe!</i></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><i>I decided to wear thick socks (yup) to ensure my shoes fit (no one will see the shoes or my feet!)! And I can breathe!</i></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><i>I finalized the songs - Pachelbel's Cannon in D and the traditional wedding march. And I can breathe!</i></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><i>I wanted <a href="http://fatherwagner.com/" target="_blank">Fr. Josh</a> to be part of this day & he will be - as the emcee for the reception - a place of prominence and no Church rules broken! And I can breathe!</i></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><i>I have something old (my pearls), something new (my dress), and something blue (a beautiful anklet) - so I only need to find something borrowed - which I'm sure won't be difficult. And I can breathe!</i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Lately I wake for mass on Sunday & D is getting ready right besides me... he's becoming more and more comfortable with our <a href="http://hrsj.org/" target="_blank">HRSJ</a> family. I am blessed! He is blessed! And I can breathe!</i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><i>And every day I thank God that I took the leap of faith to travel this road; & I thank Him for giving me all the supportive friends who helped me move forward even when I wanted to turn back because of my fear of the unknown. </i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span>
<br />
<h2 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><i>And now I Can Breathe! </i></b></span></h2>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span>
<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span>
Lady Bughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13063188703414896294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8824847749026802433.post-11809612223711411702013-07-27T13:03:00.001-04:002013-09-16T07:44:39.291-04:00A Long Journey... A Never Ending Journey!<h2>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">When I look at the calendar and think about when I started this weight loss journey, I
realize how long it has been. March 22, 2012 is when I decided to click on that
link at work for a weight loss challenge. After reading what you could win, I
was encouraged--- but scared. I didn't want to be in this competition &
loose (which I was sure would happen since I have tried over and over again to
loose weight in the last few years & failed miserably each time!) But I
read on and realized that I could use the site privately - and so my interest
was piqued. But I thought again about my failures and clicked back to my emails - I
was at work after all & probably shouldn't have been spending that much time
looking at a weight loss program online. </span></h2>
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</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">Click, read, respond... Click, read, respond...Meeting...Click, read,
respond...Meeting. That went on for a while - but something was gnawing at
me...Could I really loose weight and get back into all my old clothes again?
I'd be happy with getting back into some of them! I was so tired of the stretchy
clothes I had bought & while they fit, I hated what I saw in the mirror.
</span></h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">
</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;"></span> </h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">I'd tried many things in life & failed at some and been successful at
others. But at least I had tried. And so I thought some more about this weight
loss thing. And I thought about failing - and what that would feel like
AGAIN... but then I thought about me. About what I have accomplished over the
last 25 years.... </span></h2>
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</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;"></span> </h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">Single parent, raised 3 wonderful men who weren't so wonderful when they were
boys (LOL), put them through private school (we ate a LOT of macaroni and cheese
out of a box - Kroger brand, not even Kraft to pay tuition & make ends
meet), got them into college with minimal loans- we ate potatoes
& Ramen noodles to make this work! No wonder I gained so much weight! LOL. </span></h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;"></span> </h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">I excelled in my career beyond what
most people thought would occur - including me - given that I work with
politicians and attorneys all day & I am neither :-). </span></h2>
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</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;"></span> </h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">Probably my biggest accomplishment was that no matter how hard the prior
years were, I didn't give up. </span></h2>
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</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;"></span> </h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">No matter how many mistakes I made, I didn't give up. </span></h2>
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</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;"></span> </h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">I just kept going. So...</span></h2>
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</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;"></span> </h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">I decided that dieting was going to be the same thing. I was just going to
keep going, no matter how many times I failed, every day would be a new day. I
had overcome some significant hurdles in my life - so really, being fat should
not be the one hurdle that I can't overcome - or at least put a dent in. So on
that day, with plenty of emails still to be answered and reports needing to be
completed, I went back to that web page & clicked the link...My
journey began.</span></h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">
</span></h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;"></span> </h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">I entered in all the requisite information. And the next day, I began entering in food as I ate. The
first 5 pounds came off quick. Then l came to a halt. I was still entering
information into the program, staying under the calorie goal, but that scale
wasn't moving. After a few weeks of being discouraged, I called my
sister-in-law, Kitty, (an RN). She told me to keep doing what I was doing &
to give it 12 weeks. According to her, it takes 12 weeks for your stomach to
begin to shrink & for your body to adjust to the fewer calories so the
weight loss can kick in consistently. So, I gave it a try, and she was right.
The weight came off. Not all at once, not necessarily at 1 or 2 pounds a
week. Some weeks 0 came off, other weeks 3 pounds came off! But slowly over
time, the scale moved - sometimes not in the right direction, but move it
did...</span></h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
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</span></h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;"></span> </h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">And within the first year, I had lost between 47 and 54 pounds! AND!!!!! I
could fit into about 1/2 of my closet! This - all while going on a cruise,
surviving the holidays & holiday parties! I was thrilled - especially
since we are paying for our wedding, there is no money in the budget for new
clothes, even if I wanted them!</span></h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">
</span></h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;"></span> </h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">It's now July 2013 and the journey is not over... I've lost a total of 64 pounds since the beginning of this journey,
give or take 3 pounds... And I feel immeasurably healthier! Stairs aren't a
challenge, I sleep better, I'm more active, and when I went for my last fitting,
they had to take the wedding dress in AGAIN!... </span></h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">
</span></h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;"></span> </h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">All that said, the journey is still not over. </span></h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">
</span></h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;"></span> </h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">I have another 29 pounds to go before I am no longer considered "overweight" by
BMI standards. Since I started out firmly planted in the "morbidly obese" category, the fact
that I am now in the "overweight" category is actually quite pleasing to me--- amazing what time does to perspective! </span></h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">
</span></h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;"></span> </h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">I have another 10-15 to go before every stitch of clothes fits me - although
my wearable wardrobe has increased exponentially! I am wearing all those
clothes I purchases as I was getting fatter - while telling myself, it's such a
good deal, I'll get into it 'soon'. Here I am 7 or 9 years later - hmmm.... I'm
going to need to reevaluate my use of the word 'soon' LOL. </span></h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">
</span></h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;"></span> </h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">Now, throughout the first 13 months I was patting myself on the back... but then the scale seemed to have come to a screeching halt. And while I was discouraged, I knew this meant only one thing... I had lost as much weight as I was going to loose without exercising! </span></h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;"></span> </h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">So to help me get closer to the end of my weight loss journey I have started
walking. And while at first, I HATED it - ABSOLUTELY HATED IT!!! - Did I say I
HATED IT?... Now I look forward to my walks. I've been at this consistently for just 2
months now & while I haven't lost much weight since I started walking in
earnest, I have definitely lost inches - a significant reward to me! </span></h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">
</span></h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;"></span> </h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="color: red; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><em>SURPRISINGLY</em></span>, I am enjoying this part of the journey. I love the breeze on my face. I love
hearing my Nike+ app tell me the distance and time I've walked every quarter
mile. I love WALKING through my neighborhood & admiring all the beautiful
gardens that we all work so hard to create. You miss this at 25 mph in a car.
I love putting on shorts that 11 pounds ago were just way too tight to wear out
of the house - or even in the house with anyone but my honey! Those same
cotton shorts are now loose! I love listening to the birds sing. I love
watching the new moms and dads with their toddlers. I love running into my
little neighbor who just this year has permission to ride his bike away from our
court so when he sees me, his 'Hi!" is the brightest "hi" of my day! I love
watching the babies play on the swing sets as I walk past the parks. I love
seeing all the dogs being walked. And yes, I absolutely love hearing my Nike+
App say "Congratulations! You've reached your goal off XX miles in XX minutes
and you've walked XX more than your goal!" Instant gratification- what's not to love? </span></h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">
</span></h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;"></span> </h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">While I have lost inches, my weight loss has slowed & at first I was
upset - but what I've come to realize is that this is the Never Ending Journey!
I will get to that ideal weight and BMI for me. I will get into all my clothes
& perhaps one day even buy some new ones - LOL. </span></h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">
</span></h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;"></span> </h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">My journey won't end. I will probably forever be counting calories or
minutes walked or something... And that's okay. I will have days that I eat
tons of junk and days that I eat so little that my Honey keeps saying "what's
wrong? You need to eat something!". There will be days the scale goes up a few
pounds (to remind me to stop eating chocolate; or that salt is not my
friend!)... and there will be days the scale will go down (to reward me for
carrots and the 5 mile walk). And there will be days the scale won't move - no
matter what I do... & I have no logical reason for that - it just is. But
that's how it is on a good journey - full of stops and starts, ups and downs...
Variety. And the longer the journey, the longer the variety... </span></h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">
</span></h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;"></span> </h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">I love variety, so my journey continues... I'm so excited to see what is next!</span></h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">
</span></h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;"></span> </h2>
<h2 class="post_summary">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">Peace!</span></h2>
Lady Bughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13063188703414896294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8824847749026802433.post-59099103600336070182013-02-12T19:44:00.000-05:002013-02-12T19:44:47.195-05:00Forever<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: x-large;">After my divorce, I didn't want to get married again because I thought "FOREVER" had eluded me. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">But the last few years have taught me that <strong><em>FOREVER was WAITING for m</em></strong><strong><em>e!</em></strong></span></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTcZG0wuUC9rE57Geza6bdevhQOo_kpNCFOywzZyldjrDiR29ysjZnAjmpYIAMdp6wdwgitfBLH-KyNI_c4EXNc6_ThBmCD1TLfP2jyEu0wLLddOmEWyCGFSFNffkeeoQPAxTrhcy5AMPK/s1600/Our+Hands.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTcZG0wuUC9rE57Geza6bdevhQOo_kpNCFOywzZyldjrDiR29ysjZnAjmpYIAMdp6wdwgitfBLH-KyNI_c4EXNc6_ThBmCD1TLfP2jyEu0wLLddOmEWyCGFSFNffkeeoQPAxTrhcy5AMPK/s640/Our+Hands.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong><em></em></strong></span><br />
<strong><em><span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: x-large;"></span></em></strong><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: x-large;">Our hands are filled with "life lines". The lines speak volumes. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: x-large;">Marriage, children, relationships, joys and sorrows. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: x-large;"><strong><em>Experience!</em></strong></span></div>
<br />
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<br /></div>
<br />Lady Bughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13063188703414896294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8824847749026802433.post-24148883713401923362013-02-01T21:08:00.002-05:002013-02-01T21:37:10.128-05:00<div style="text-align: right;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg46lItNzHjLfNnHF-7MHyxx1hkkH9pxFoz4wwY59pewYPaAaAi-TBFsjAGI9L78bK3soFYh8S90m4ZigSFaCOFs2BcZxi77JcMBb-g9_BKTsneASNT8zjiq-ilwFMv4yx-3lbr0sWmEx44/s1600/Composite+3+-web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="458" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg46lItNzHjLfNnHF-7MHyxx1hkkH9pxFoz4wwY59pewYPaAaAi-TBFsjAGI9L78bK3soFYh8S90m4ZigSFaCOFs2BcZxi77JcMBb-g9_BKTsneASNT8zjiq-ilwFMv4yx-3lbr0sWmEx44/s640/Composite+3+-web.jpg" width="640" /></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><strong>Prayers... Frogs... Prince!!!</strong> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong>THIS is the Goal...</strong></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBFE4L7Ij00_OB7OqOI0RCObLnI1BgC7S5-10WW2pDl-qC_Fr7uew1_rvczeGSNkVBjzo2zMGA7ZeltTjua2CSM6N0HQXImOdqv5lqH3ewsN-UUMjvV6TKAQLiKFcvSZRZFLXpZhCNxXs6/s1600/FD9-web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBFE4L7Ij00_OB7OqOI0RCObLnI1BgC7S5-10WW2pDl-qC_Fr7uew1_rvczeGSNkVBjzo2zMGA7ZeltTjua2CSM6N0HQXImOdqv5lqH3ewsN-UUMjvV6TKAQLiKFcvSZRZFLXpZhCNxXs6/s640/FD9-web.jpg" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiELNBkoCiilSwotXu8fX3wSbVJomijsP09Z00MEG8ZiPRF5KnCTwdM6Wza_rxNHWwbL_UbIO2eS6RQ843k8skvWN3ypKlUH7lj9vpVo_cONn47BPbX_ASji7tqqTtb7khwePYFhI5D8cdu/s1600/FD30web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiELNBkoCiilSwotXu8fX3wSbVJomijsP09Z00MEG8ZiPRF5KnCTwdM6Wza_rxNHWwbL_UbIO2eS6RQ843k8skvWN3ypKlUH7lj9vpVo_cONn47BPbX_ASji7tqqTtb7khwePYFhI5D8cdu/s640/FD30web.jpg" width="458" /></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><strong>I think we are on the right track!</strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><strong><u>JUST SAYIN' :-)</u></strong></span></div>
Lady Bughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13063188703414896294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8824847749026802433.post-14207786609766946252013-01-31T20:45:00.000-05:002013-01-31T20:45:13.294-05:00Favors<span style="font-size: large;">I went to pick up "The Dress" on a Saturday. And quite naturally David's Bridal was a zoo. As I looked around at all the brides to be, both young and old(er), I marveled in all this. The dress, the shoes, the bridesmaid/maid of honor/ matron of honor dresses, the alternations, the this, the that and the other. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzvJ8J1LvaJV3ASmMIOjZ5hGJcjVA3fwMyhrtBwGH_v_31Zqm6vQ_82PygpIiPmFEwJIxsYZ1FLa79LG-eIYF58qvYHalSSrwn7jk01eA4GsCDMOpMtTmXU3Cj5xEeO2GTNHSAaNJEpiIc/s1600/Favor+Measuring+Spoon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></a><span style="font-size: large;">Weddings are definitely a business. And I must admit I am caught up in the wedding business right now. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">My list consists of: booking the wedding site, choosing & buying decorations, picking out the MOH dress; finding shoes that are cute - but won't won't hurt my feet & the list goes on. Music for the 'first dances' - the first dance with <strong><em>my husband</em></strong> (wow - 233 days until this he will be <em><strong>my husband</strong></em>--- but I digress go) & the first dance with my brother, his first dance with his mother. Just like every other bride, I suppose, I want everything to be 'perfect'. That said, since I tend more towards realism in my life - I know that not everything will be perfect. Stuff happens. Life happens. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">But there are a few things that I am focusing on in hopes of perfection. They are the vows; my dress; the tux; the processional music; and the favors. Now the first 4 on this list probably strike you as normal. But you got to the 5th one and thought "Lord, she is off her rocker. Why try to make <em>favors</em> perfect?"</span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzvJ8J1LvaJV3ASmMIOjZ5hGJcjVA3fwMyhrtBwGH_v_31Zqm6vQ_82PygpIiPmFEwJIxsYZ1FLa79LG-eIYF58qvYHalSSrwn7jk01eA4GsCDMOpMtTmXU3Cj5xEeO2GTNHSAaNJEpiIc/s1600/Favor+Measuring+Spoon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzvJ8J1LvaJV3ASmMIOjZ5hGJcjVA3fwMyhrtBwGH_v_31Zqm6vQ_82PygpIiPmFEwJIxsYZ1FLa79LG-eIYF58qvYHalSSrwn7jk01eA4GsCDMOpMtTmXU3Cj5xEeO2GTNHSAaNJEpiIc/s200/Favor+Measuring+Spoon.jpg" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVOrru9RbOZFMco9HZRKhPNmBVYFfloBBWi5uc4bypKqU1sRk_T1Ob9ziAt5c4YHG1fuj8e0HWA9kMmvGA2HdSNF2fuZQQ3S6si7AVW2z-yB1DOnhFBVSjN6zxPeN1LSvgQoKthhB_VoN7/s1600/Favors+candy+bar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="122" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVOrru9RbOZFMco9HZRKhPNmBVYFfloBBWi5uc4bypKqU1sRk_T1Ob9ziAt5c4YHG1fuj8e0HWA9kMmvGA2HdSNF2fuZQQ3S6si7AVW2z-yB1DOnhFBVSjN6zxPeN1LSvgQoKthhB_VoN7/s200/Favors+candy+bar.jpg" width="200" /></span></a><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I have spent countless hours on-line looking at wedding favors. I've considered: measuring spoons with cute sayings like "Love Beyond Measure" (but if you don't like to cook, this probably isn't practical) ; a candy bar with jars of red & silver candy that guests can scoop into little boxes or satchels, (but does everyone really like candy?); coffee flavoring in cute bottles and Hershey's kisses in cute little satchels (figuring the folks who love coffee will like the flavoring & those who don't like coffee will like the chocolate). There have been so many other ideas... </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">And I am going a little nutty trying to figure this out - but I'm still firmly on my rocker. You are probably thinking "they are 'just favors'--- people won't remember them after the day is over.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">But really, they aren't 'just' favors. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">They are so much more; they are an expression of my love for each and every guest. They are my way of saying "thank you for your prayers", "thank you for believing in me", "thank you for loving the very flawed me". </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">You see, these people are my family. Some by blood, others by choice. These are the people who believed in me when I couldn't or wouldn't believe in myself. These are the people who believed I would be successful in business one day. They believed that I was, & am, a good mother. They believed I was doing my best - even when I couldn't pay the rent, or the electric bill, or the gas bill - AGAIN! </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">These favors symbolize a heartfelt token for all the wonderful people who have supported me over the years. If not for their kindness, their prayers, their listening ears and wise words, I would not be where I am today. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">These people all, at one time or another, did me a "favor". They probably thought it was small. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Those 'favors' over the years, especially the difficult years, were the manifestation of Jesus in everyone who chose to care for my boys and me. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Have you heard the saying: "You may be the only Jesus someone sees today"? </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">On that day when</span><span style="font-size: large;"> someone said a prayer for us, gave us food, mentored me so I could be promoted (to at least make ends meet), Jesus was shining through.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">When someone watched my baby for free while I worked at night to buy the older boys Nike sneakers that they wanted sooooooo much. </span><span style="font-size: large;">When someone gave my children toys on Christmas when I simply couldn't. Jesus was shining.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">When someone took my sick baby ever so gently as I stood in Children's Hospital ER crying so hard, I couldn't see. Jesus was in the arms of the stranger who hugged me & assured me my baby would live. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I could go on and on about the 'favors' people did for me over the past 25 years, but you get the picture. And I'm sure you understand why having the exact right wedding favors for my guests is so very important. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Those favors should say... </span><br />
<strong><em><span style="font-size: large;"></span></em></strong><br />
<em><strong><span style="font-size: large;">"Thank you for allowing Jesus to shine through you so I could see Him through my clouds of gloom!"</span></strong></em>Lady Bughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13063188703414896294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8824847749026802433.post-18282837980138746202013-01-05T14:29:00.001-05:002013-01-05T14:30:21.140-05:00My Dress, My Life & My Alterations!<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcXr7FQ43rIZm_amd4JOFgX8xLWOipzYpngtMhReZyQOM4A3JB2pKsNZmmSHLO3pAbDlMCO2VP_I2MzxX2ZwStqERbEMrPaMmIStgAXEqcWoUp8nufWoV9yYa8ujPN1vCcYlAZR-MjAQ3I/s1600/Picture+of+Dress.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcXr7FQ43rIZm_amd4JOFgX8xLWOipzYpngtMhReZyQOM4A3JB2pKsNZmmSHLO3pAbDlMCO2VP_I2MzxX2ZwStqERbEMrPaMmIStgAXEqcWoUp8nufWoV9yYa8ujPN1vCcYlAZR-MjAQ3I/s200/Picture+of+Dress.jpg" width="134" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><strong><em><u>THE DRESS! :-)</u></em></strong></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: large;">My dress is in. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong><u>THE</u> <u>DRESS</u>!</strong> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Next step: Alterations - and lots of them! Yes, this dress has to be altered to fit just right. Nips here, tucks there, raising the hemline, creating the bustle. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I have at least 20 more pounds to loose before getting the <em>first</em> alterations so I won't be starting that process until at least June (the end of June, according to </span><a href="http://sharecare.com/" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: large;">ShareCare.com</span></a><span style="font-size: large;"> - <span style="background-color: yellow;">LOL</span>). </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I don't want the look of the dress to change, I just want it to fit me perfectly and for that to happen alterations must be made. Kind of like my life...</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I like my life. I don't really want it to change, but I know it will be a better fit for me & for us with some alterations. Nipping the "divorced" category from my life and tucking in "married" is what I <u>now</u> want - what I am ready for today that I wasn't ready for before. Sealing our current status with a blessing & a prayer (& a piece of paper) is what I now want.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Together we can hem up the issues of our lives. We can pull into a bustle up all those things too big to put in a hem. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">We will still have issues - after all what is life without a few issues to make it interesting? :-) But they will be contained and dealt with rather than flying all over the place and tripping me up. And it is easier to deal with issues when you are not dealing with them alone. Two heads are better than one... </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Alterations ...</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Going from Ms. to "<span style="color: red;">Mrs."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Going from Divorced to "<span style="color: red;">Married"</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Going to "Mom of 3" to <span style="color: red;">"Mom of 4"</span> (no "steps" in my world)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Going from mine to <span style="color: red;">"ours"</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Going from baked fish to <span style="color: red;">fried fish</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Going from "crazy Catholics" to <span style="color: red;">"hmmm... maybe there is something to this..."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Going from "I don't do church" to <span style="color: red;">"sure, I'll come with you"</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Going from lonely to <span style="color: red;">"me time"</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Going from caring for "me & mine" to caring for <span style="color: red;">"us & ours"</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Going from painting any color I want to <span style="color: red;">listening to another's opinion and not cringing when walls AND ceiling was painted <span style="background-color: #9fc5e8;">blue</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Going from no hot stuff in any of the food to <span style="color: red;">hot stuff in some of the food</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Alterations...</strong></span>Lady Bughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13063188703414896294noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8824847749026802433.post-74826629427355490172013-01-04T16:52:00.002-05:002013-01-04T16:52:33.351-05:00The Annulment Process ... Really, this is what Jesus wants?<span style="font-size: large;">To marry in the Catholic church, if you have been married before, one must go through the annulment process. It can be short or long and arduous. But whether short or long, the process is a pain, and I do not see I see its' value. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Annulments examine the processes and activities undertaken <strong><u>prior</u></strong> to the previous marriage with the goal being to determine if the first marriage was a sacrament. This right here is a problem. While I know some people who "should have known better than to marry ..."; most divorced people I know will tell you that they weren't abused, their former partner wasn't unfaithful prior to the marriage, that there were not real signs that the marriage was doomed to be one of the 50% of marriages that end in divorce. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Most people I know say that they tried and tried to make it work. They say that even when they finally got divorced, they still loved/hated (<em>opposite sides of the same coin, if you ask me</em>) the former spouse. Most people I know say that they changed over the years and were genuinely unhappy with no happiness in sight at the end of the tunnel. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">To make matters worse, if you are marrying someone who isn't Catholic and who is divorced, their marriage has to be annulled as well. Well! Try explaining that to a non-Catholic! From a non-Catholic perspective, it is none of the churches' business what happened in their past. And by the way, I <strong><em>totally</em></strong> agree!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So...</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Dear Catholic Church: </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Here ye, Here ye!!! <strong><u><em><span style="color: red;">Marriage AND Divorce are hard!</span></em></u></strong> From the outside looking in, it may seem easy, but it is not. And while I frequently hear "oh, they just didn't try hard enough" or "they gave up to quickly" or (my favorite - NOT) "divorce is so easy today that people jump right into it"... I have yet to meet any divorced person who agrees with these statements. And I know A LOT of divorced people.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Catholic Church, I love you, I know how good and great you can be, but I also know that you can be wrong and hurtful. I am on the receiving end of the hurt right now - and really, I don't see Jesus in this process, so I have a few things to say... </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">You, my beloved church have never been married, nor divorced. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">You, my beloved church do not know the pain felt when the decision is made, or thrust upon you, to end the dream that you dreamed for such a long time --- even when the dream has turned into a nightmare. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">You, my beloved church, can read all the books, listen to all the stories, hear about the joys and the sorrows, but until you have walked in my shoes, you will never know what it was like. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">You can no more "know" about marriage than you can "know" what it is like to go through child birth!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Yet, you believe that you can make a decision about people's lives based upon your formal education and training. Let me tell you, nothing matches or beats EXPERIENCE when it comes to marriage and divorce. NOTHING. It is hubris that allows you to think that you have all the answers. No one has all the answers except God. Not you, not me, not the pastor of any parish, church, synagogue, mosque or temple. NO ONE HAS ALL THE ANSWERS EXCEPT GOD. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Have you not learned that the hubris you exhibit is doing damage to the people who are trying so hard to follow Jesus, to worship in the church He commissioned that we now call "Roman Catholic"? </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">On the issue of annulment I believe you are blind. How can you see the speck of dust in the people's eye when you have a timber in yours? Do you not remember our history? The horrible mistakes made in the distant and recent past? The leaders of the church thought they were right at those times also. Hubris! </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Is this really what Jesus meant you to do when he gave the keys to the kingdom to Peter? Jesus wanted you to set up the annulment process? Really?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Would Jesus ignore the pain of so many - self inflicted or not? Really, you think the answer is "yes"? Really? </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Would Jesus put up barriers to the blessing of a new marriage when the old one is legally gone and the former spouses have moved on? Really? </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">It is hard for me to believe the God of Love that I have come to believe in more and more each day would sanction this action of the Church - any more than God sanctioned The Crusades or movement of 'troublesome' priests from parish to parish.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I don't believe that a love for Jesus and your fellow human beings is at the core of the annulment process. I believe it is yet one more error made by the leaders of the Roman Catholic Church, and while the error won't be corrected in time for my wedding to be blessed by the Church, I have faith that one day it will be corrected. Until that day, I will pray that we, as a church, will exchange the hubris for compassion, understanding and love. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">There is enough hubris in this world... we need not add to it.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Sincerely,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Every Person In Pain Over This Arbitrary Process</span>Lady Bughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13063188703414896294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8824847749026802433.post-56271568638466502472012-10-06T20:41:00.000-04:002012-10-06T20:41:30.616-04:00Name Change<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">I was writing a check this morning and looked at my signature. I have had my last name more than half my life. I have had this name ever since I was an adult. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">This name.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">The name that belongs to my sons.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">"We are.... and we do not act like that", I would remind my sons at least a thousand times through their adolescence. Even though my marriage had ended, the name was important... it linked me to my adulthood and linked my boys to their dad and his family. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">In less than one year, for the first time in more than two and a half decades, my name will change. For the first time, my sir name will be different than my sons' name. And with the name change will come a change in my life. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">I will no longer identify myself as "divorced"... "Married" will be my new pick when filling out forms.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">I will be <strong><em>some one's</em></strong> <strong><em>wife</em></strong>. And while by no means is that bad, it is strangely surreal to me at this moment. I will be part of a union ... the <em>Mrs</em>. in the "Mr. & Mrs."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">Surreal. Just surreal...</span>Lady Bughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13063188703414896294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8824847749026802433.post-37457920286457970492012-09-18T18:53:00.002-04:002012-09-18T19:14:01.596-04:0012 Things I've Learned So Far<span style="font-size: large;">I've been on a diet since March 20, 2012. I have eaten what I like, but less of it. Some days it has been extremely difficult & other days, it's fine. The reality is not only do I like to eat, you must eat to live. Eating isn't like smoking... you can't just quit, so learning how to manage what I eat is my best hope for a non-obese life.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">While on this dieting journey to my perfect size, I have realized a lot of things about food, diets & all the "advice" I've read about dieting... and most importantly why dieting didn't work for me in the past. So below are the first dozen things I learned thus far...</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">#1- Not only do I like to eat, I HATE - got it???? H A T E to exercise! Really, I do hate it! And by exercise I mean "going to the gym", "running", "jazzercise"; "walking 60 minutes a day", "walking on the treadmill"; "sit ups"; "push ups" or any other thing that I was forced to do in gym class so many years ago. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">#2 - "Exercise" actually means "movement" - any kind of movement... So while I don't walk every day, I do try to go "play in the dirt" at least weekly. Pulling weeds, transplanting flowers and shrubs, carrying bags of mulch & soil around the yard is movement, therefore counts as "exercise". And, cleaning the bathroom, mopping the floor, vacuuming, washing windows, even cooking & going grocery shopping are considered exercise. When I log all my activities into a tracking tool & see how many calories I burned, I feel like I've accomplished something. It's motivating!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">#3 - From a purely volume perspective, I really didn't eat all that much - but from a calorie perspective - well, it's no wonder I got so big! </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">#4 - In order for the scale to move in the right direction, I MUST limit my salt intake and I MUST drink water. The least little bit of salt winds up pushing the scale up 1 or 2 pounds in a day! And while I know it is "water weight", if I'm honest with myself, it is still discouraging to see the scale creep up even a pound... So--- I am trying to remove it from my diet & it isn't easy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">#5 - I must weigh myself daily - at the same time & on the same scale & the scale must be in the same exact spot on the floor. I do this to focus on weight <strong>change </strong>- and deviating from any of these can cause the weight change to not measure accurately! I find it so odd that if I move my scale to the left or right, that my weight will change - within seconds - so there is something to this theory - for me at least. I'm a science focused person, so I do need to see changes in the scale and be able to correlate them to my food intake--- No once a week weigh in for me - been there, done that & failed. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">#6 - I do like vegetables. And while I prefer pasta, potatoes and rice (in that order), I really can do without a ton of it if I have good veggies on the plate as well. I toss them in olive oil, add some seasonings & roast them to bring out the sweetness or the intense savory flavor. Meat - well, I can take it or leave it... </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">#7- I eat candy when I want to eat candy - like today after a particularly hard day at work, I went to the store and got 1 Snickers bar. The key is that I can't buy the pack with lots of little candy inside because if it here, I will eat it! Same goes for muffins - so I will only be making these on Saturday when I know I will be taking them to church to share on Sunday!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">#8 - While I am much bigger than I want to be -( I've got between 40 & 50) more pounds to go, I feel great that I have actually lost 30 pounds! I don't look like I want, but my good curves are beginning to show again and that is a good motivator to choose my foods wisely.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">#9 - Kitty was right. After 12 weeks on the diet it got considerably easier to stick with it. I've been on for almost 6 months & with the exception of when I am baking, I dono't really feel deprived. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">#10 - 10 pounds lost does not correlate to 1 pants size! That's nuts. I have lost 30 pounds and I have only went down a little over 1 pants size! I have lost plenty of inches off my waist, but my hips, thighs and butt are moving at a much slower pace. So while plenty of people say "throw the scale out & watch your clothes"... that would never work for me! I don't loose weight in a specific spot... I loose weight all over. so while 20 pounds lost did show up in my face and my hands (my ring started slipping off), it didn't show up that much on the lower half of my body. Without the daily scale, I would have never been able to stick with this process so long. I need my scale! I'm even thinking about taking it on the cruise with me in 8 weeks!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">#11 - To be successful, I have to be fanatically strict about my food when I am traveling! Eating in airports is rarely good for me. Too much salt and sugar... just too much of everything! I have to make sure I eat before meetings (so I can avoid the muffins, bagels & croissants they always put out around 9:30 or so). And I have to drink water! For some reason when I eat junk while I'm traveling it seems to send the scale up faster than when I am home... Odd, but I've found it to be true (for me at least).</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">#12 - So going back to the beginning... after 6 months, I still hate exercise & won't be doing any "standard" exercises any time soon ( or ever!). I have, started living like I did pre beseness (that might not be a word -lol)... I did not get in the car to go to a store that was a 1/2 mile away. I did not sit for 9-10 hours a day without taking time to eat lunch - even if lunch was only a slice of pizza!; I did not eat pasta every chance I got. I did however, eat popcorn at the movies, I ate something every morning & I ate lunch every day. Dinner was often skipped because I truly wasn't hungry. I enjoyed the outside & enjoyed the neighborhood. I went dancing, I tried new things. In essence, I moved more. And since I have now hit the inevitable plateau, my plan is to move more! </span>Lady Bughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13063188703414896294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8824847749026802433.post-85958874353997355752012-09-16T15:39:00.001-04:002012-09-16T15:40:23.913-04:00What I saw when he picked up a puppy...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBFtcN2uEM1tkZkhKJ9xajnUG7SUz48VAE6RVTeqTzY0a68J_rgzaa-mJ6LyqKRj02yzGZAw9w1u_Md0uIM98wacPQ3SQGxTtvWulrGH1Lep2e8UrDTlN0rGwrph-GCTp6Pc0CMXkCKFcT/s1600/Tenderness.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBFtcN2uEM1tkZkhKJ9xajnUG7SUz48VAE6RVTeqTzY0a68J_rgzaa-mJ6LyqKRj02yzGZAw9w1u_Md0uIM98wacPQ3SQGxTtvWulrGH1Lep2e8UrDTlN0rGwrph-GCTp6Pc0CMXkCKFcT/s200/Tenderness.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">I watched him as he tenderly picked up one of the puppies and stroked its' soft coat. I listened as he spoke ever so softly. And I looked at the expression on his face. The expression was one of kindness, one of adoration, one of compassion, one of selflessness.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">At that very moment I remembered why I love him so. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">These are not the qualities that I see in the busyness of every day life - but they are the ones that are there inside him. Sometimes they have to crack the shell to get out - but they are there... These are the qualities of love - - - the ones that I remember whenever I am anxious about getting married again. The ones that bring me peace... and joy.</span> Lady Bughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13063188703414896294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8824847749026802433.post-81133624738913296982012-09-10T10:36:00.002-04:002012-09-10T10:37:16.506-04:00September 11<span style="font-size: large;">September 11, 2001. A day I will never forget, nor understand.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I was sitting in my office in Westerville, OH going about my day. All of a sudden a woman walked hurriedly by saying something about "<em>we've been attacked</em>". I didn't know what she was talking about. I went into one of the rooms with a TV and looked up & saw a plane flying into the World Trade Center. My first thought was "Oh my God, that poor pilot" because surely the pilot must have had a heart attack & went off course & the plane ACCIDENTALLY flew into the tower. I assumed it was a small plane - not a jumbo jet. I worried about the pilot, the [probably few] people on the plane and certainly for the people in the office building. Undoubtedly some people were hurt - if not killed. "Lord Have Mercy" , I thought.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">But then, another plane went into the building & I realized that "we" were being attacked. Now I am simply mad! Who the hell would fly a plane into the WTC? What the hell is wrong with people? Are human beings just getting more ignorant and cruel by the second? Grrrrr! Whatever idiots were flying those planes surely didn't have a beef with all the people inside the buildings or the city that I love so much! How dare they destroy so many lives in the blink of an eye! I don't give a crap what happened to them that upset them! How dare they????!!!! Idiots!!!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Then I saw the towers begin to crumble, people screaming and running in terror. I saw the firefighters and police officers doing their jobs & knew that each of them were in harms way. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">And I thought of Sammy--the man who I married & bore 3 sons with. The marriage that years later collapsed and shattered my heart into a million pieces - leaving me hurt and angry at him, his family & the whole messed up situation. At that moment - at the moment I saw the towers begin to crumble, I worried about that man. He was a NYC police officer. He could be down there in that mess, that rubble. My children had already lost him once through our less than amicable divorce... my God, were they going to loose him to death? Death at the hands of idiots, no less! Everything in me now turned from anger for the idiots flying the planes & compassion for the people who had died... <em>to terror</em>! </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Terror not borne of fear for my life, but terror that came from the possibility that my children may loose their father! "Dear Lord", I prayed, "PLEASE TAKE CARE OF SAMMY!" Tears welled up in my eyes as I thought about the possibility that my boys would have to endure any more pain. Hadn't their lives been difficult enough by the divorce, by me moving, getting sick, being poor, etc., etc., etc. "Please God" I continued to pray, "please don't do this to my boys". And so I tried to call him but the lines were down. I called every relative and friend I had in the NYC area (which were all my relatives!). Couldn't get through. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So I went home. To be with my boys. To pray and <strong>pray</strong> and <span style="font-size: x-large;">pray!</span> To ask the Blessed Mother to pray for Sammy's safety. To ask the Holy Spirit to guide Sammy's footsteps. To ask St. Michael to protect him from death. To ask God to spare my children this pain. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">We sat around the TV watching the horror show over and over--- it was painful, but we could not look away. I recalled the bombing at the WTC years earlier & the smugness I'd felt in 1993 ("of course <em>'they'</em> can't take down the WTC with a bomb! Idiots! ") I didn't feel very smug now... quite the contrary... vulnerable!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Two days past before we would hear from our family. No immediate family members were lost - but we all seemed to know someone who either worked in the towers, or was a fire fighter, police officer or paramedic who was hurt or killed. No one had talked to Sammy... not even Stacey. And as I realized that Sammy may indeed be hurt, the pain and anger of the divorce subsided and I was recalling only good memories of this man who I had once loved. I was remembering all his good qualities... all those reasons why I had said "I do" so many years earlier. My pain from the past dissolved. Unconsciously, I let the past go. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">My heart grew heavy - even as I assured my boys "don't worry, your dad is fine! He is just busy & can't get to a phone. He is helping people." They didn't believe me and with every hours' passing I was beginning to not believe me. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">And just as all hope was beginning to slip away, he called! Alive, safe, unharmed.... he had been in Staten Island when this all occurred - in the station house --- the "1 - 2 - 0" as the cops called it - doing paperwork! Thank You God!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Relief swept my entire being. The boys relaxed. I said a prayer of thanksgiving; and then went back to praying for the dead - for the innocent and the "guilty". I turned the horror show off & rather than dwelling on "those horrible people", I began to dwell on all the children who would be without their parent. And I prayed for them. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I still pray for them today & for all children who have lost a parent. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I have come to realize that while I have not given my children the idyllic life that I dreamed of giving them, they are still fortunate because regardless of anything else, they have always had their parent<strong>s - </strong>parents who love them with every breath we breathe.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Today I continue to pray for the children who lost their parent to this senseless violence. I continue to thank God for sparing Sammy the wrath of death. And I thank God for allowing me to let go of the pain of the past.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I will never understand why any of this occurred - but I continue to believe that God has a plan--- for the living and dead. He is the writer who does not need backspace, delete or spell check. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">HE'S got this...</span></em><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> </span>Lady Bughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13063188703414896294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8824847749026802433.post-15443233396085568372012-08-22T13:54:00.000-04:002012-08-22T21:59:30.957-04:00Ahhh...Vacation! Hmmm....Vacation? And...I'm Melting :-)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglQ41iRgXRCA167WQbmHIPyEScuLXoej5_W1lJ-tkIcboyuQH8NaOJBWe51sIFYQA5xksa8sMOiHT4QyitOVf3r8-9NeLZOJ6CBGQaoM0CbxleXi-DX34JwgrJ15UO7EC3dFNccaci5EAz/s1600/Cincinnati+Aug+2012+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglQ41iRgXRCA167WQbmHIPyEScuLXoej5_W1lJ-tkIcboyuQH8NaOJBWe51sIFYQA5xksa8sMOiHT4QyitOVf3r8-9NeLZOJ6CBGQaoM0CbxleXi-DX34JwgrJ15UO7EC3dFNccaci5EAz/s400/Cincinnati+Aug+2012+2.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">On vacation we went... </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I wasn't sure what to expect. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">We'd certainly been away for a day or so together before, but never for more than that--- never with the express notion of "<em>being on vacation</em>". So, the fact that we were on vacation was a big thing. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Forget about the destination..."<em>Being on vacation</em>" means different things to different people. To me, it means...</span><br />
<ul><span style="font-size: large;">
</span>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">sleeping in ---in a king size bed with soft sheets. </span></li>
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</span>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Getting up in the morning & just lazying around for a while with my coffee.</span></li>
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</span>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Taking a long hot shower - while the room is cool, so when I get out the cool air hits my skin!</span></li>
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</span>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Brunch in a nice restaurant--- not worrying about the cost of every single thing--- and not worrying about the <strong>calories</strong> of every single thing that goes into my mouth.</span></li>
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</span>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Sitting on a park bench, watching the world go by... admiring the differences in sights from my normal day.</span></li>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Visiting places or things that I have never seen before - or that I did see before & am dying to take you to because I just want you to see what I see. (This is such a dangerous thought when you are engaged to <em>oil </em>and you are <em>water</em>! LOL)</span></li>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span></ul>
<span style="font-size: large;">I wasn't sure what "being on vacation" meant to him... But I was about to find out.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Well! It turns out that other than "sleeping in" - (he gets up before the chickens--- before the roosters!!! <u><strong>EVERY DAY</strong></u>!), "being on vacation" meant doing what<strong> I</strong> wanted to do -<strong> no questions asked</strong> (wow!). It meant... </span><br />
<ul><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIj1xoX5Z0JoyInF-QGOQFjBs5ZpOpUKmrivxXrwGQK_06c0e3h10YMCaxZVwPAx4w5wvgXj6PXZgkuni6gozVmea4HQ5gCHVMymg5ISg65XNO7uTkVx6gJT3agxWOUTrtX3nrgwtHPXT7/s1600/Glass+Sculpture.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIj1xoX5Z0JoyInF-QGOQFjBs5ZpOpUKmrivxXrwGQK_06c0e3h10YMCaxZVwPAx4w5wvgXj6PXZgkuni6gozVmea4HQ5gCHVMymg5ISg65XNO7uTkVx6gJT3agxWOUTrtX3nrgwtHPXT7/s400/Glass+Sculpture.JPG" width="296" /></a><span style="font-size: large;">
</span>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">not being upset every time we hit a bump in the planning road. </span></li>
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</span>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">going into museums and letting his guard down so he could enjoy the displays... not focused on race, gender, the economics of the artist - or the moment... preconceived notions were left at the door so that when he saw beauty, <em>he could actually see it</em>! And appreciate it! And now he is hungering for it! Longing to see the miracle of "simple" blown glass formed into something that beckons your head to turn in it's direction; to see artifacts from people who lived so long ago; to hear the majesty of history & determination by humans to come back from disasters even stronger; to know the hope that they certainly "<em>should not</em>" have had - yet they did. </span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIj1xoX5Z0JoyInF-QGOQFjBs5ZpOpUKmrivxXrwGQK_06c0e3h10YMCaxZVwPAx4w5wvgXj6PXZgkuni6gozVmea4HQ5gCHVMymg5ISg65XNO7uTkVx6gJT3agxWOUTrtX3nrgwtHPXT7/s1600/Glass+Sculpture.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></a><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></li>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">getting into the hot tub that was overflowing with chlorine "just to see" if it would soothe our aching muscles</span></li>
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</span>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">swimming - because it is the exercise I can do that doesn't make my back scream with pain</span></li>
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</span>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">giving me a kiss even when I have 'coffee breath"</span></li>
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<li><span style="font-size: large;">It meant not worrying about every cent - not going overboard --- simply appreciating our good fortune to be able to get away.</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-size: large;">Little did I know that this vacation was <em>his gift to me...</em> </span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>"Don't you want to ...?"</strong> I'd ask; </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>"We always do what I want to do, let's do what you want to do." </strong>he'd reply. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;">At that very moment, all my cares melted, all my fears about becoming a "wife" and he becoming a "husband" melted away...<em> </em>because<em> <strong>loving someone gives you a warm feeling inside, but being loved & appreciated by that someone makes your insides melt.</strong> </em></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><em><strong>And... I'm melting... :-)</strong></em></span></div>
<ul>
</ul>
<br />Lady Bughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13063188703414896294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8824847749026802433.post-69230584035460330452012-08-06T22:48:00.001-04:002012-08-06T22:49:59.242-04:00The world needs more of these people!<span style="font-size: large;">A few weeks ago, Polly Anna told me she had skin cancer. While I was with her I tried to make light of this... "it's treatable/curable", I'd say. "Don't worry - God would never take my best friend away--- see, Polly Anna - it's all about me!" I'd quip. And she would still worry, but for a minute she would smile. Hopefully it bought her relief from the constant worry that comes with cancer.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Today, Polly Anna went to the doctor for a follow up & got "really, really good news". When I read this on her Facebook post, I sighed with relief. Not only because I didn't want to see my friend suffer with this terrible disease, but more importantly because I know in my heart what a special person she is.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The world needs more people like Polly Anna! The world needs people who...</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">For their birthday celebration ask everyone to bring a winter hat that she can then drop off at the homeless shelter. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Worry about their neighbors and go out of their way to make the lives of the less fortunate a little better</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Is a good mother to their child & other's children when their parents are unable to care for their babies properly</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">See the beauty all around us</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Are not afraid to step outside of the world into which she was born to get to know someone else - whose ideas and ideals were not so conventional</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Will hold the single mother's hand when she is wracked with fear that her children are going down the wrong path - where Polly Anna says and BELIEVES that "it will be okay"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Will allow their children to follow their dreams --- respectfully & responsibly</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Sees the positive EVERY SINGLE DAY - regardless of her circumstance</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Believes in first loves and second loves</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Believes in true love</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Will be their friend's cheering section - because she knows it is what the friend truly wants - even when Polly is not so sure</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Who will work bingo in a smoke filled room for 4 years to ensure their child received the eduction of her choice</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Who walks the walk and talks the talk when it comes to most everything - but especially [Catholic] Social Justice teachings... </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Value the love of a family - given or chosen.</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-size: large;">I could go on and on about Polly Anna. I have yet to meet many people like her in my 50+ years of life. Not that I haven't met good people - I have... But there is something very special about this woman. I can count on my fingers how many people I have met like this in my life. Polly Anna is unique. Her faith in action is unique. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">She not only sees the good in everyone, she sees the potential, the promise, the hope and the joy in each and every person she encounters. In short - she DOES see Jesus in every person she meets. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The world needs more people like Polly Anna - many, many more. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">For now, I am happy to call Polly Anna my friend - and I am indeed blessed that she is in the world I inhabit.</span><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Dear God - Thank you so much for keeping Polly Anna safe! We really need her!"</span></strong>Lady Bughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13063188703414896294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8824847749026802433.post-34557533126115016212012-07-15T22:53:00.002-04:002012-07-15T22:54:17.517-04:00Thank You<span style="font-size: x-large;">Just thought I'd say "Thank You" to the man that I love...</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Thank you for cutting the grass</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Thank you for edging the grass - something that looks so nice, but I would never do</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Thank you for getting the 25 bags of mulch out of the truck, even though you were tired</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Thank you for washing dishes</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Thank you for cooking the fish</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Thank you for fixing the car</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Thank you for vacuuming the dog hair</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Thank you for having the sense of smell as good as a drug hunting blood hound</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Thank you for putting up the ceiling fan</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Thank you for moving the boxes into the living room, then into the basement </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Thank you for hanging the picture in the right spot - just a little bit over</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Thank you for painting the deck</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Thank you for painting the walls especially since you hate to paint</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Thank you for pulling up the smelly carpet from the basement floor</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Thank you for pulling the staples and nails out of the stairs</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Thank you for smiling</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Thank you for noticing the 22 pounds lost just when I needed it to be noticed</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Thank you for loving me with or without the 22 pounds</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Thank you for choosing the ring I would love - classic, simple & elegant</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Thank you for never forgetting to say "thank you"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">And most importantly, Thank you for BEING THANKFUL FOR US!</span>Lady Bughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13063188703414896294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8824847749026802433.post-74776691531478627272012-07-13T10:40:00.002-04:002012-07-13T10:40:19.949-04:00A House vs. A Home<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgajHC9OEZwhbCaoOIgxp76q2qcmHM93ai-gPdUzfZR-LpMg9K9_s-ri_EMQhf7jLQh7ZRnNVT17N7_R67Hq4qgwIfB1o3pAKlHkO0d9H9KgAL_h8hVWys_xErdibG0a7mvELxcFxyGTUa1/s1600/Upstairs+bath.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgajHC9OEZwhbCaoOIgxp76q2qcmHM93ai-gPdUzfZR-LpMg9K9_s-ri_EMQhf7jLQh7ZRnNVT17N7_R67Hq4qgwIfB1o3pAKlHkO0d9H9KgAL_h8hVWys_xErdibG0a7mvELxcFxyGTUa1/s200/Upstairs+bath.JPG" width="149" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">So apparently I didn't know the difference between "light coffee" and "light yellow"... cause my walls upstairs are light yellow & I could have sworn that little swatch was a light coffee color. Surprisingly enough, it is pretty. Not too bold, but not pastel either... it is just right. This shower curtain never looked this pretty when it was hanging in my master bath!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Isn't it funny how when put in a different light the same item can look different. I think that goes for situations as well. Take this whole fire thing... Originally I thought I was going to have a short (but complete) nervous breakdown from the stress of getting the house put back together, not to mention paying the un-budgeted deductible. When I looked around I could see "messes" every where. I stressed about the clothes that the cleaners took - leaving me with my work out clothes and business dress clothes; leaving Don with simply 2 work outfits!; leaving us with no towels or washcloths, etc. There was soot every where & drywall dust. It stunk like a chimney! And I was so tired of saying "I'm so sorry that there is noise in the background. I'm having some work done on my home"! It didn't look or feel like the house was ever going to be put back together... It looked and felt like a disaster!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Yet, here I am 2 months after the fire and the house looks wonderful. Freshly painted walls, new plush carpet, new appliances & new hardwood floors... Plus even the ducts were cleaned out (I would have NEVER paid to have that done!).</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">While the construction was going on, this place was still a house, but it definitely was not a home! Now when I walk in, I see a home. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The house is relaxing again. It is my sanctuary. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This is again the place where memories were made and will continue to be made. The walls will get marred (hopefully one day by "little hands"); the beautiful hardwood floors will get scratched from dogs, furniture & simply life; the beautiful stainless steel appliances will get covered with grease from the frying of fish; the oven interior will be stained from the lasagna that boiled over - or the cake that overflowed because I thought "It won't rise THAT much" lol; and the dust will come back... Life will occur in this house. Living will occur in this house. And that is good - very good.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The light has changed in the past 2 months... And while I always said I wanted a "home" rather than a house, these past two months have accentuated that feeling! The light has changed. A HOME is critical to my happiness, to my peace of mind, to my ability to relax. I will no longer take these walls for granted, because I have had a glimpse of what it would be like to have only a house, but not a home & I didn't like what I saw. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This home... Our home... Don, the kids, the grand kids & me... Our home is important for all of us & I will treasure it more now that I ever did before!</span>Lady Bughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13063188703414896294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8824847749026802433.post-52080859633105413572012-06-28T21:26:00.000-04:002012-06-28T21:28:59.266-04:00My House and My LIFE in Transformation<span style="font-size: x-large;">Humpty Dumpty is almost put back together again!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Today we picked out wall color. No more dirty, flat ugly walls upstairs. The rooms will be a calming light café-au-lait color. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">The floors will be covered in light brown shag carpet - yup, I said "shag". Not a long shag (like in the 60s). I honestly think this will look nice - and it will hide dirt (my #1 criteria for carpet). It's called "Shimmering Shag" and it's a soft color, not bright like they were when I was a kid. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><em>My color is between the top & second color... not too dark, not too light.</em></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">And praise God, the rest of my new appliances will be here soon! It will be great to be able to bake again! No more frying food - yeah!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">And my brand new wood floors (our treat to us!) will be here in a few days. Within one week, I will have a totally transformed house.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">And as I think about my transformed house, I am thinking about my transformed life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">I've come a long way. Twenty four years ago when people said "you should get married so you have someone to help you raise your boys", my answer was "Marriage is like death! You do it once and that's it!" And I was dead serious... the end of my marriage was beyond devastating when it was happening and for many years to come. I was suicidal for the longest time, unable to bear the excruciating pain. I am only alive now because my desire for release from the pain was not as strong as my love for my wonderful sons. I was determined to not leave them, as I had been left. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Once I was able to not let the pain consume me 24 hours a day, once I stopped crying myself to sleep every night, I promised myself that I would never give my whole self to someone like that again and besides, I didn't think I was worthy of that type of love anymore (having screwed it up the first time!).</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Now, today, here I am. Twenty four years later with a life transformed... And it's all because I wanted to <em>'date'</em> - NOT marry. I didn't want anything serious... I figured I had raised my boys and now I needed some adult companionship to spend time with... after all, eventually my boys would be gone.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">So onto Match.com I went... and after some funny dates & meeting some nice guys and some jerks, I met Don. He too was not looking to get married again... "Perfect" I thought. We can have fun without any pressure. We will live in the moment. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Time traveled on and we went from just dating to a little more serious, then to a lot more serious. And while we eventually decided to live together, we didn't decide to get married. I had determined that I was good with where we were... I never brought up the word marriage.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">But then he started talking about it... little things, here and there... and I routinely changed the subject. What we had was good, I thought... Why throw in the monkey wrench of marriage? Plus I still had a child at home... A grown child, but my child still the same. Marriage & kids... that had warning signs all around my head.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">And then an opportunity came for me that would allow me to travel for work. I jumped at the chance, since one of my mottos is "have passport will travel". And so I began. Going from here to there to everywhere...Gone for a week or two at a time. Sleeping in hotels (and sometimes airports). Eating fast food or bland airport salads. Finding out that I was missing him more than I thought I would.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Missing that wonderful smile and that strange elf laugh! Missing him complaining about the sandwich Brandy stole 2 years ago! Missing him ask me why when it is 90 degrees in the house that I have to have the sheet on me or I can't sleep - even while I sweat! Listening to him tell me yet again, "well I don't know any Black person who does..." and me thinking -"he needs to increase his social circle! He's in a box & doesn't even know it!" Just Missing Him!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">I sometimes think that God put that job in front of me so I could be away from him for periods of time so I would think about what it would be like if we stopped living together. Eventually I realized that I wouldn't want to be without him. But then fear (or the devil) took over so I didn't venture into 'marriage', I just stuck with the status quo and didn't give the future much thought. I was living in the moment - yet I was beginning to wonder about marriage, about what that would be like. I was wondering if I could do it again? If I should? I wondered if he really wanted to get married or were his little comments just comments and nothing more... I wondered what my kids would think, what my brother would think. I wondered about my stuff, his stuff, our stuff... I feared that my feelings would change. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Then on January 6, 2012, he asked me to marry him. And with those 4 little words <span style="color: red;"><strong><em>"Will you marry me?",</em></strong></span> all those fears vanished. I looked at him and knew that he loved me & that I loved him. Those words transformed me... </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">I have a pre-January 6th self and a post January 6th self.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">My post January 6th self has taken the lessons of the past with a hope to never repeat them. <strong><em><span style="color: red;">My post January 6th self knows that while there are no guarantees in life, and that life without transformation is not life.</span></em></strong></span>Lady Bughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13063188703414896294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8824847749026802433.post-6687543736299736782012-06-21T21:17:00.002-04:002012-06-21T21:22:02.226-04:00Busy as a Bee<span style="font-size: x-large;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">A while ago, a friend gave me these slippers because, she said, I was as always busy as a bee. While she may think so, I don't think I fit into that category any longer. I did fit in that category when my boys were younger. I was always moving... always doing something. And even when I was scared to death, lonely, worried, happy, sad or mean, everything I was doing (in my mind) was important... because I was a "mommy". I was raising my sons. I was doing the most important job that God gave me... I had failed at being a wife, but I was determined that I would not fail at being a mother. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Today, looking back at my "buzzing days" I would have done many things differently --- to make my sons' childhood happier. But I did the best I could at the time. And I prayed A LOT! Today, I look at my sons and think "Wow! Prayer works!" </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">And every day I am grateful for my babies that have grown into wonderful men... But then again, every day, I miss the sounds of those little feet running in and out of the house. I miss cooking for them. I miss watching them grow up. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">And, they did grow up. And now, I have 3 grand children & one on the way. In my mind's eye years ago, I thought that once I had grand children that I would be able to fully enjoy them! As I pondered - I thought of all the things I would one day give my grand children that I was not able to give my children. I thought of the candy I would feed them - not worrying about a sugar high (LOL). I thought about how I would side with them when their "mean dad" wanted them to cut the grass, clean the bathroom - or pick up their dirty socks. "Poor little baby" I would say. "I don't know why your dad is so mean." I would chuckle. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">So far...</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">one little girl, </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">& two boys</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span><span style="font-size: x-large;"> and one on the way </span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC0XEb30_7x2hyfp2aIXyXggEnOhGvKPskXKZhPovtS4rJvUIdgMA9urGcdFYfsQ1TI3t357Qui7xa_zQbIi5LV5vVQ5xC1__vdRaXu2GuUef5eausMOqUvGokaLCHj4RQSZLUCTajjl3K/s1600/Marcos+Abraham.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC0XEb30_7x2hyfp2aIXyXggEnOhGvKPskXKZhPovtS4rJvUIdgMA9urGcdFYfsQ1TI3t357Qui7xa_zQbIi5LV5vVQ5xC1__vdRaXu2GuUef5eausMOqUvGokaLCHj4RQSZLUCTajjl3K/s200/Marcos+Abraham.jpg" width="145" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Unfortunately, they live in Texas & Florida... not Ohio. Not where I can hug and kiss them all the time. Not where I can sit outside and talk to them one on one. Not where they can come spend the night at Gram's house (or as Tehtum calls me "GrandMom"). I feel like I am missing out... I am missing little feet running around, I am missing out on first words, first steps - a myriad of 'firsts'. And that makes me sad...</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">But I am lucky because I know that my sons and the women in their lives are good parents ---- and there is FACEBOOK! </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">While I can't see their "firsts" up close and personal, their moms keep me up to date - and for that I am VERY grateful...</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">I am no longer "busy as a bee", since I don't have little ones to care for, to watch grow... But now, I'm another kind of busy...</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Planning a wedding, ensuring my house gets put back together, enjoying my opportunity to work at a job I truly like, traveling to states I would probably never voluntarily choose to visit, (i.e. Mississippi, Arkansas or Georgia) and of course, loosing weight!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">And while I do miss my grand children, I can look down at these slippers and remember my buzzing life. Thank God for memories... & thank God my friend gave me these slippers that remind me so much of my buzzy days.</span> </div>Lady Bughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13063188703414896294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8824847749026802433.post-90112656094632572452012-06-17T20:30:00.002-04:002012-06-17T20:48:05.131-04:00Wedding Venues... the Planning Begins!<span style="font-size: x-large;">So we have started looking at venues to have our reception (and maybe wedding - who knows). </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">We've seen an old mansion in Delaware called </span><a href="http://andrewshouse.org/" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Andrews House.</span></a><span style="font-size: x-large;"> The hard wood floors, the fireplace, and the beautiful staircase were all things that caught my eye. And because it is used as a place to care for those in need during the week, I felt good about supporting such a wonderful and important mission. Yet, when we went in, it was beautiful, but obvious that it would not meet our needs.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_JTQWZb5eeo_VY7ms75rApAlPH6ZvABi6uMS0XXDdpDAkJvwDSJCRHfPduRhDIJ7TdZWgI4nE3pEN50T1Ngp7Q8LOrKGFstM_-XDCsdqaST0rGLmefAcDOj_N-QML2KZnioAbjBQGOwBM/s1600/ohio+weslayan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_JTQWZb5eeo_VY7ms75rApAlPH6ZvABi6uMS0XXDdpDAkJvwDSJCRHfPduRhDIJ7TdZWgI4nE3pEN50T1Ngp7Q8LOrKGFstM_-XDCsdqaST0rGLmefAcDOj_N-QML2KZnioAbjBQGOwBM/s200/ohio+weslayan.jpg" width="149" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">We've driven around and looked at places like </span><a href="http://www.owu.edu/" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Ohio Wesleyan</span></a><span style="font-size: x-large;">. The outside is gorgeous - the pictures would be great. But we haven't seen the inside yet. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">While getting my hair done, I pondered the </span><a href="http://www.columbusmuseum.org/" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Columbus Museum of Art</span></a><span style="font-size: x-large;">, but quickly gave up when I saw that space rental ranged from $1,000 to $4,000 (yup - four thousand dollars!!!!) for an evening affair. I've thought of the Columbus Downtown Library--- but not only is that a bit too <em>"Sex in the City-ish"</em>, it is probably outside of my budget as well.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">I looked at </span><a href="http://www.fpconservatory.org/" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Franklin Park Conservatory</span></a><span style="font-size: x-large;"> in a magazine - and it looks wonderful - but I suspect out of my price range --- but I'm going to check anyway. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">I've thought about the room under the theatre at </span><a href="http://stcharlesprep.org/" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-large;">St. Charles</span></a><span style="font-size: x-large;">... It was a pretty room, as I recall and the pictures would be wonderful!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Last week we looked at the </span><a href="http://www.catering4acause.org/" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Council for Older Adults</span></a><span style="font-size: x-large;"> here in Delaware. And I was pleasantly surprised at how nice the room was - and how informative the event director was. And again, our money going to help a worthy cause makes me feel warm inside.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">The last place I looked at (so far) was </span><a href="http://www.brookshire.biz/" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Brookshire</span></a><span style="font-size: x-large;">. Haven't been inside yet... Just looked at the web site. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">I continue to look at venues... and I'm starting to form a picture in my head of this day...</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWMlS4UQ1Y4fwFkFawNWDVIU9pBJwBE6oa_SUDgmkHuqFjHocA-v8KN9kWe1NQn2ZUlbXY25otNUceXFpNdRUsbxXbEZSWt4jK1yd_XQI7YnW-ThEkQ7uzfHunzsrx79jCmCiHCU5XjuWo/s320/hrsj.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="240" /></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><em><strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">Arriving at HRSJ</span></strong></em></td></tr>
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<ul><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWMlS4UQ1Y4fwFkFawNWDVIU9pBJwBE6oa_SUDgmkHuqFjHocA-v8KN9kWe1NQn2ZUlbXY25otNUceXFpNdRUsbxXbEZSWt4jK1yd_XQI7YnW-ThEkQ7uzfHunzsrx79jCmCiHCU5XjuWo/s1600/hrsj.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"></span></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3Mp-LrcOLk_Dt9FGWRk6QRnGi3VPgYE6s0MLySUJeDrn1HQrqxAe3jIJ2MAC_O5wVhgHsyZTVjg1MDnNzA3JV5yrXSRvY9CyPbNL0QA3F5_d89VHUo28QR3GloK3Ur1LmeHa0GKRGDKqN/s1600/hrsjinside.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"></span></a></ul>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3Mp-LrcOLk_Dt9FGWRk6QRnGi3VPgYE6s0MLySUJeDrn1HQrqxAe3jIJ2MAC_O5wVhgHsyZTVjg1MDnNzA3JV5yrXSRvY9CyPbNL0QA3F5_d89VHUo28QR3GloK3Ur1LmeHa0GKRGDKqN/s1600/hrsjinside.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3Mp-LrcOLk_Dt9FGWRk6QRnGi3VPgYE6s0MLySUJeDrn1HQrqxAe3jIJ2MAC_O5wVhgHsyZTVjg1MDnNzA3JV5yrXSRvY9CyPbNL0QA3F5_d89VHUo28QR3GloK3Ur1LmeHa0GKRGDKqN/s320/hrsjinside.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><em><strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">Walking down this aisle</span></strong></em><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><em>Hopefully it will start this way</em>.... we Catholics are the "church of rules" I know - so while I am hoping this will be the aisle, I know it might not be because sometimes our beloved church is on an isle of her own.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbOsSd84AivEfygF2IjTmgZYR9ML-tgYWZqzid_EfcNVkyRIs0xt9SThqbaZw11UrLGUV2cteClgHfrH5gueR8CXKcTKP6w6DsOJnvRRXbVhHhcn6oWk8rJSAq1UlpnFmppAftkRE0lQ_d/s1600/candle+spoon+and+knife.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbOsSd84AivEfygF2IjTmgZYR9ML-tgYWZqzid_EfcNVkyRIs0xt9SThqbaZw11UrLGUV2cteClgHfrH5gueR8CXKcTKP6w6DsOJnvRRXbVhHhcn6oWk8rJSAq1UlpnFmppAftkRE0lQ_d/s200/candle+spoon+and+knife.jpg" width="149" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">No matter the beginning, the reception tables will be draped in white linen...a cobalt blue table runner will call hold a floating candle and gifts for our guests.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Our guests will arrive to a warm and inviting space. Casual yet elegant. Inviting. No bling. Music from our world - R&B, Jazz, Line Dancing Music. Aromas of the delicious meal to come will waft through the air. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">The sounds of happiness, joy, peace & laughter will fill the air. Lots of "how are yous" & "hmmm good food" and probably some "lord have mercy, I thought we'd never get here!" will be said. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">And when all is said & done, Don & I will look around at our family & friends. We'll see them having a good time... And we will say "Yup, it was worth it". </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">That's my vision... Two people destined to be together. Two people with friends and family supporting their every step. Two people who are declaring their love before God and all. Two people wanting to say "Thank You" to our loved ones with a party. A party that is casual, elegant, inviting. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">And at the end of the night... two people who will look at one another and say "Yup! It WAS worth it!"</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"></span></div>Lady Bughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13063188703414896294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8824847749026802433.post-74341242563754039692012-06-06T00:15:00.000-04:002012-06-06T00:15:08.271-04:00More NOPEs than CHECKs<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: large;">Electric redone and house safe - CHECK</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: large;">Refrigerator chosen and purchased - CHECK</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: large;">Stove chosen - NOPE :-(</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: large;">Dishwasher chosen NOPE :-(</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: large;">Televisions chosen NOPE :-(</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Home Theatre System chose - CHECK; Purchased - NOPE :-(</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">DVD Player chosen - NOPE :-( Do they even make simple DVD players anymore????</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: large;">Pencil Sharpener - Just need to get to the store</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: large;">Beds - That's going to take a while :-(</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: large;">Pillows - Ordered</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Carpet chosen - NOPE</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Wall color chosen - NOPE</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Carpentry eve started - NOPE!!!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The list goes on and on... And I continue to have more NOPEs than CHECKs...</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So the reason we had a fire in the house was to teach us patience--- I'm failing that lesson!</span><br />
<br />Lady Bughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13063188703414896294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8824847749026802433.post-34546401847588284332012-05-27T16:01:00.001-04:002012-05-27T16:01:27.104-04:0012 Pounds Gone, 23 More Pounds to Go!<span style="font-size: large;">I'm still waiting for the weight to drop off...</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I started this diet on March 20 --- that's 10 weeks ago. I've lost 12 pounds so far. Which is not as much as I wanted, but not bad either. I'm a third of the way to my goal of 35 pounds by the time I get on that cruise ship in November. At 35 pounds less than I was on March 20, I will still be a plus size - but I will be a smaller plus size. I will still have another 35 (or preferably 50) to go before the wedding, but I'll cross that scale when I get to it. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So far, I can't really see the difference - except on the scale. But, since the fire, I only have a few clothes & most of which are stretchy - so I can't feel a difference. However, I was more comfortable on the plane the last time I flew. It might be all in my head - 12 pounds probably didn't change the width of my hips! But, I'm going to let it stay in my head - it's good for my ego.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">One of the things I should do, but haven't, is exercise <strong>consistently</strong>. Logically, I know that sitting on my butt all day long only contributes to my big hips & thighs, but let's be honest - I HATE EXERCISING! I keep trying it, thinking that some day I will like it, but I haven't found that day yet. I try to think about the 'runners high' and think to myself - if I could just experience that 'high', I would love exercising. Ha! Take a look at the "runners high" </span><a href="http://www.fitday.com/fitness-articles/fitness/cardio/what-is-a-runners-high.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: large;">description below from FitDay.com</span></a>:<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<h4 style="text-align: center;">
<em><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">The runner's high is a state of euphoria that is experienced by not only runners, but by anyone engaged in a vigorous workout. Boxers and bikers have reported similar states of being, as have weight lifters, cross country skiers and rugby players.<br /><br />The high itself is variously described as a feeling of well-being, to being one with the world or to a total out of body experience. It is typically related to longer periods of vigorous exercise rather than shorter, easier workouts, possibly due to the stress the body undergoes as the major muscle groups begin to run short on glucose. The experience of the high also seems to rely on the individual makeup of the runners themselves, with some experiencing it at 5 miles, while others must run 20 before the euphoric feelings kick in.</span></em></h4>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Just so all is clear, I am never going to run 5 MILES, not to mention 20! I am never going to be a boxer - which, by the way isn't a sport, it's just angry people acting a fool; a weight lifter - the only thing I want to lift at this point in my life are grand children; a cross country skier - I hate the cold as much as I hate exercising; or a rugby player - because according to the</span><a href="http://www.whatisrugby.com/rugby-basics/game-play-scoring/" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: large;"> rugby blog</span></a><span style="font-size: large;">, this is a 'full contact' sport - which means hitting and tackling - and if someone hits me, I will not handle it well.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So, how oh how am I going to loose weight? I know it is possible because #1 - I did it before; and #2 - I can scientifically prove:</span><br />
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<span style="color: cyan;"><em><span style="font-size: large;"> <strong>fewer calories + increased metabolism (i.e. more exercise) = weight loss.</strong></span></em></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So, I guess I will have to eat fewer calories <strong><u>AND</u></strong> exercise consistently - UGH! </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I will pat myself on the back and say that I have mastered the fewer calories part of the equation. Now I have to master the more exercise part. And that means walking! Boring - but apparently critical to my success. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'll start at 20 minutes a day and build up to 60 minutes a day. That isn't going to burn a ton of calories - but it is better than nothing...and the diet plan I am following actually suggests I start with 15 minutes a day (guess they are concerned that more than 15 minutes might cause us non-exercisers/couch potatoes to have a heart attach - LOL). So as long as I keep my calorie intake low, I will still loose weight. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The goal: <span style="color: cyan;"><strong>LOOSE 1 POUND PER WEEK</strong></span>.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: yellow; color: red; font-size: large;"><strong>The cruise is 24 weeks away...</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Keeping up my current pace, I'm on target to lose 35 pounds, (or more!) by November 10!</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Wish me luck!!!! I'm going to need it!</strong></span><br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">:-)</span></strong><br />
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<em><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span></em></div>Lady Bughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13063188703414896294noreply@blogger.com0Delaware, OH 43015, USA40.2986724 -83.06796540.2502309 -83.146929 40.347113900000004 -82.989001tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8824847749026802433.post-7077772087243409372012-05-19T19:43:00.001-04:002012-05-19T19:44:10.376-04:00Waiting for the Weight To Drop...<span style="font-size: large;">I'm waiting for the weight to drop off. Most days I get on the scale praying for some miracle to happen... I'm praying that the 70 pounds I gained years ago will magically disappear & I can get my clothes on! Well, so far, I've been getting on the scale for 8 weeks - every day while I am home...Some days I'm thrilled (those are the days that the scale is moving in the right direction). Other days, I'm aggravated - when for the past 2 days I'd eaten salad & hard boiled eggs, yet I've GAINED weight! Then there are the days I'm just resigned to "well at least I didn't gain any weight". On my best days, I think "I've already lost ____ pounds & I only need to loose an average of one pound per week to get to my goal. Thus far, I've lost 11.6 pounds - not bad for 8 and a half weeks - but with summer coming and our wedding in 2013, every now and again I get nuts! So I started thinking about why... after all, I don't remember Don saying "I will only marry you if you loose 70 pounds"...</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Weight & women is such an odd phenomenon in this country. The sixties ushered in anorexic thin, while the 40s and 50s pin ups portrayed women with hips and breasts (imaging that -a woman with hips and breasts!). Now we are in the 20-teens and while all the mass media claims to tout "healthy" as the way to be, I don't see it in the pictures. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN19GQQ-sXloUozafcSj79347Rgpq17hCQsfJ9biqAml-rbRV5-scppcaZr1vpYCaz-A_8teTGugPlZpMCeihK8M00GIF7qw_gdGZtSRCAjUGfhybdT6WHFQ9nxzWqZ0zUaOZetD_PGodW/s1600/RachelRay.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN19GQQ-sXloUozafcSj79347Rgpq17hCQsfJ9biqAml-rbRV5-scppcaZr1vpYCaz-A_8teTGugPlZpMCeihK8M00GIF7qw_gdGZtSRCAjUGfhybdT6WHFQ9nxzWqZ0zUaOZetD_PGodW/s200/RachelRay.jpg" width="136" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Really? She is Plus Size? REALLY????</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">Recently, I saw this photo of </span><a href="http://www.answers.com/topic/rachael-ray-large-image" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: large;">Rachel Ray</span></a><span style="font-size: large;"> and the commentary said she was "Plus Size"! Really, this is plus size? Now no doubt about it, I AM plus size - but this picture portrays a 'plus size'? How ridiculous! </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The pressure to be thin - to maintain the body of an athletic 16 (or younger) year old girl is silly...</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I am 50. And unless I work at it very, very hard, AND have bariatric surgery, I'm NEVER going to have my 16 year old body back. And while I want and need to loose weight to be HEALTHY, I don't think I want my 16 year old body back. That body was "cute" <em>and</em> insecure. Today I want a body that reflects sophisticated, mature ('wise' not 'old), approachable, easy going, attractive & graceful. At 16 I was none of those things! Perhaps my fat has made me realize that these qualities are really better and much more important than "thin thighs".</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">At 50, 3 sons, a daughter in law, 3 grand children and 1 on the way, I think I've earned some of my fat!<em> (Notice I said 'some" - even I realize this is way too much fat!). </em>I raised my sons into wonderful young men... I made the best home for my boys that I could...I worked as hard as I could to succeed in my chosen career... I've said "oh crap, I can't believe I made the same mistake again!" many times, but never gave up trying to get better... I ate Ramen Noodles when they were babies, trying to keep the roof over our heads and ate Ramen Noodles when they were older trying to pay tuition bills... YES, I've earned some of my fat! I believe that 10-15 pounds over the "ideal" weight should be considered compensation for getting to 50 - yet alone getting to 50 after raising 3 children on my own!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">In 2013, I'm getting married. I'll walk down the aisle, (or around a wooded path - I haven't decided about this wedding thing yet ) with my brother at my side. I won't be a svelte size 10, I won't have deep brown hair with natural red highlights. I won't have thin thighs - luckily I'm not getting married in pants! LOL. But ---</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">I will have... Gray around my temples and maybe streaming through my hair that will be done just so by </span><a href="http://www.answers.com/topic/rachael-ray-large-image" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: large;">"the little girl at church who does my hair"</span></a><span style="font-size: large;">. Those grays will remind me of the hardships of the past & to be thankful for all today & tomorrow gives</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">I will have... Wrinkles around my smiling eyes and lips - signaling that "I have enough experience to get this right this time"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">I will have... Three sons, and the loves of their lives with my grandchildren sitting right there with smiles on their faces - proud of & happy for, their mom. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">I will have... My brother, who helped raise me before and after my mother was gone; who, with tears in his eyes told me "mama died" and every day after that, he allowed her love for me to radiate through him. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">I will have... My best friend - who when I said "This is never going to work" &" I'm going to be miserable forever & I guess I deserve it" &" I just can't" she always said "God's got a plan, just pray" & "you deserve someone good who loves you - God's working on him" and "of course you can".</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">I will have... A body that while not "cute", hopefully will be seen by Don as "beautiful".</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">I will have... A man who I love and who loves me - fat & all! </span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-size: large;">Yes, I'm still waiting for the weight to come off. I am going to exercise while I am traveling to nudge that scale in the right direction... I'm doing this because for all the things I have today - a loving fiancé, family, and friends, a nice home, a good job -<strong> I am grateful</strong>. And I want to take care of myself so I can continue to experience them all. The most prevalent lesson of the last few weeks was and continues to be: TOMORROW IS NOT PROMISED TO ANY OF US!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So, I continue to wait for the weight to come off but I know that when I'm 'done with this diet' - I will still have 'fun fat' - and that's okay. And the "thin thighs"... well, I'll just have to wait for heaven to experience those again.</span>Lady Bughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13063188703414896294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8824847749026802433.post-75444697641944375952012-05-17T16:52:00.001-04:002012-05-17T16:52:22.843-04:00Putting Humpty Together Again...<br />
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<em><span style="color: lime;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,<br />Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.<br />All the king's horses and all the king's men</span></span></em><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><em><span style="color: lime; font-size: x-large;">Couldn't put Humpty together again</span></em> </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Ever feel like poor Humpty Dumpty? I feel like I am living in Humpty right now! </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">We had an electrical fire in the attic after lightening struck our home. Yup - lightening!!!! </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Since the lightening strike, I've been in insurance hell! And the house smells like a camp fire. My nose & eyes hurt when I'm here with windows closed. And while I can't usually smell much, I can smell this horrible smell quite well (it figures!). The 'cleaners' came to get our clothes to dry clean them & they took EVERYTHING! They even took the clothes out of the hamper! They took every curtain, sheet, blanket, wash cloth, towel - they even took my shoes (leather pumps & boots)! Strangely, they didn't take our pillows - and the pillows STINK!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">We have electric in only half the house. Luckily for everyone who comes in contact with me, I can plug in my coffee pot - since this process would try the patience of Job!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Today, we have gotten estimates for the electrical work so the electric will be fixed soon. Then the reconstruction of Humpty can begin. Cleaning, painting, re-carpeting...& finally I can get my stuff back! This is a long process. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Through out this situation, I've been looking for the lesson in this craziness. I'm still not sure what the lesson is, but I have a few ideas:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">#1 - I should stop complaining that Don can smell anything within a mile of wherever he stands! Without that nose of his, we might be dead!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">#2 - I should review my insurance policies every time something changes. My deductible is huge (at least to me)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">#3 - I should be more thankful for this home God allowed me to obtain - it could be taken away very quickly</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">#4 - Delaware - that I laughingly used to call "Mayberry RFD" is still Mayberry RFD - and I'm thankful for the 'small town' that it is full of concerned and giving neighbors, and a fire department and police department with a great response time</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">#5 - Considering I've been wearing the same few outfits that were "luckily" in my suitcase when the cleaners came - apparently, I don't need nearly as many clothes or shoes as I thought! (LOL)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">#6 - I should focus every day on how lucky we are to be in this home, in this neighborhood, with our family & neighbors. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><u><em><strong>#7 - Unlike all the king's horses and all the king's me, the contractors will be able to put this Humpty together again!</strong> </em></u></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><u><em><strong>The air around me might stink, but ...</strong></em></u></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;"><u><em><strong>LIFE</strong></em></u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;"><u><em><strong>IS </strong></em></u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;"><u><em><strong>GOOD!</strong></em></u></span></div>Lady Bughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13063188703414896294noreply@blogger.com0