Thursday, June 21, 2012

Busy as a Bee


A while ago, a friend gave me these slippers because, she said, I was as always busy as a bee.   While she may think so, I don't think I fit into that category any longer.  I did fit in that category when my boys were younger.  I was always moving... always doing something.  And even when I was scared to death, lonely, worried, happy, sad or mean, everything I was doing (in my mind) was important... because I was a "mommy".  I was raising my sons.  I was doing the most important job that God gave me... I had failed at being a wife, but I was determined that I would not fail at being a mother.   

Today, looking back at my "buzzing days" I would have done many things differently --- to make my sons' childhood happier.  But I did the best I could at the time.  And I prayed A LOT!  Today, I look at my sons and think "Wow! Prayer works!" 

And every day I am grateful for my babies that have grown into wonderful men... But then again, every day, I miss the sounds of those little feet running in and out of the house.  I miss cooking for them.  I miss watching them grow up.   
And, they did grow up.  And now, I have 3 grand children & one on the way.  In my mind's eye years ago, I thought that once I had grand children that I would be able to fully enjoy them!  As I pondered - I thought of all the things I would one day give my grand children that I was not able to give my children.  I thought of the candy I would feed them - not worrying about a sugar high (LOL).  I thought about how I would side with them when their "mean dad" wanted them to cut the grass, clean the bathroom - or pick up their dirty socks.  "Poor little baby" I would say.  "I don't know why your dad is so mean." I would chuckle. 

So far...
one little girl,                                                         

& two boys

  and one on the way

Unfortunately, they live in Texas & Florida... not Ohio.  Not where I can hug and kiss them all the time.  Not where I can sit outside and talk to them one on one.  Not where they can come spend the night at Gram's house (or as Tehtum calls me "GrandMom").  I feel like I am missing out... I am missing little feet running around, I am missing out on first words, first steps - a myriad of 'firsts'.  And that makes me sad...

But I am lucky because I know that my sons and the women in their lives are good parents ---- and there is FACEBOOK! 

While I can't see their "firsts" up close and personal, their moms keep me up to date - and for that I am VERY grateful...

I am no longer "busy as a bee", since I don't have little ones to care for, to watch grow... But now, I'm another kind of busy...

Planning a wedding, ensuring my house gets put back together, enjoying my opportunity to work at a job I truly like, traveling to states I would probably never voluntarily choose to visit, (i.e. Mississippi, Arkansas or Georgia) and of course, loosing weight!

And while I do miss my grand children, I can look down at these slippers and remember my buzzing life.  Thank God for memories... & thank God my friend gave me these slippers that remind me so much of my buzzy days.